As a Matter of Chance

My First Award!!!

2012-02-13T07:46:00.000-08:00

This ever happened to you? Out of the blue something awesome happening to you! Well that happened to me today when I was catching up on what I missed in the blogosphere. . The talented blogger Tan has given me a Versatile Blogger award! This is the first time I am getting an award!! And the reason she gave was to make me start writing again! The knowledge that somebody actually wants me to write is truly a great inspiration!! I shall be more frequent in my updates!

The rules for Versatile Blogger award are,

1. Add a picture of the award in your post.

2. Thank the award giver.

3. Share 7 random facts about you.

4. Choose 15 other bloggers to pass the award to and let them know that they’ve been nominated.

Seven random facts about me are

1) I never knew how to write my name till UKG or so.. My parents and teachers had tried real hard but didn't succeed. One day a relative came home and within 5 minutes she taught me how write my name. I first wrote it on a newspaper..

2) I think I have some sort of OCD. If I start using a place for something I keep on using the place or item for no specific reason.

3) I sit and study not because I am nerd but I don't like to be called a looser.

4) I just love reading books and can spend any amount of time with books.

5) I am coffee addict. Just can't live without it! I went on to the extent of buying a coffee maker to my room just so that I can have an uninterrupted supply of coffee!

6) I have a really wild imagination.

7) Finally I connect seemingly unrelated events and sometimes end up smiling in a totally wrong situation!

I don't have 15 bloggers to tag but they have been the best!

Roshan
Rohith
$$
Swetha
Keep writing!!

The Empty Cup of Coffee

2012-01-27T23:57:00.000-08:00

A continuation from The Half Cup of Coffee and the The Full Cup of Coffee

I am sitting here in the coffee shop with the empty cup of coffee in front of me, witnessing the physio chemical reactions going on inside the head s of John and Sarah. They are sitting a couple of tables away talking to each other. Romance!!

John did get her the coffee. Buggers; they charge 50rs for a coffee and don’t even show the courtesy to bring it to you! Sarah has taken only a sip or two from the coffee while John has almost finished his, proving the fact that even in the midst of a war John won’t let his coffee go cold. Sarah obviously has no such issues. I hope John does not go to the extent of drinking her coffee too. I should have told him that also. John was tensed for this and wanted to know what not to say during his first ‘date’! As he constantly refers to me as his best friend among the other less cheerful terms, he came to me and I enlightened him. Funnily enough Sarah also came to me asking for what to talk to John. Being his close friend for more than two years and as someone keeping secret feelings for him I was the best person she could talk to. For a moment I was tempted to screw it up. The good times I had with John flashed. I was really happy to be with him. We did so many stupid things together and had the fun of a lifetime! But things might change if he comes to know. I may never tell him also. The very next moment I was ashamed of that very thought! Screwing up the life of a person who considers me as his best friend is too much. So I did help her out telling what’s he like other than the coffee. And heeding to their last request I came with them to the coffee shop also.

So here I am sitting with the empty cup of black coffee, looking at the guy I thought I loved. Strangely I am feeling happy for him now. Sometimes the best way to remain close with the person you love is to be a good friend.

“Seems like you could use some company Anna”

“Sam! Sure, have a seat! Didn’t see you coming”

“Probably because you were in your own world, so what you doing here?”

“I am just babysitting the kids! They sure grow up fast!”

“John and Sarah? Looks like a nice match, if she can live with his coffee that is. You know if she gets to marry him, she would probably have to take a cup of coffee for the first night instead of the usual milk!”

I laughed really hard at his imitation of how Sarah would be holding the cup of coffee with the coyness of the first night. John and Sarah are too engaged to take note of what was happening on my table.

“Sam stop saying such things! They have only started. But yeah that might happen if they end up together”

“Good for him! I am going to get coffee, you need a refill? Your cup is empty.”

2012

2011-12-31T23:16:00.000-08:00

2011 the year that went by, was a good one for me.
Academically passing the final year (The Inner Peace) was the best of all!
In the blogosphere I was honored twice by Blogadda by choosing my Murders at the hospital and The Patient I'll never forget for their Tangy Tuesday and Spicy Saturday picks..
I got to travel a lot and meet up with new people and got to know the old ones better! Some of them I just met once and became friends forever! Never imagined such things would happen..
I started this post to put down all the good memories of 2011 and now I realized its just too much and I might miss out some! ( And definitely not because I am called for dinner!!)
The bad and sad memories I choose to forget because as life goes by we don't usually keep track of the bad events that happened. Its always the 'good old days'! So 2011 was great for all of you as well! Never keep any regrets coz the past ain't coming back!! (Unless I invent a time machine! Yes I am going to continue my PJs to 2012 also!)

Have a great 2012!!!

The patient I'll never forget

2011-12-02T09:15:00.000-08:00

Nabeesa, a 35 year old lady walked into the department of Prosthodontics with the intention getting a full set teeth before her daughter's marriage which is to be held after 20 days. As a final year student posted in that department I was allotted the case.
Prosthodontics posting was my final posting and we have to finish one complete denture (CD the full set teeth) and two removable partial dentures (RPDs for those who don't know, they are replacement of missing teeth which can be taken out by the patient only.) We are supposed to do the RPDs in third year but I didn't get any case neither was I very keen on taking cases in third year.
With a friend's help I did manage to get one RPD case and another I got from the department only. But the CD case was a problem. It was not easy to get such patients from outside and these patients have to come at least 6 times for different steps. And in most of our cases they have to come more than that as it is very difficult to get it right the first time. And in any stage if the patient decides not to come back we are screwed! Without the completion of work no chance of writing the exam. So it was with all these fears in my mind I took the case file from the staff.

The first question Nabeesa asked was whether I can finish the work in 20 days. Never before it was done. Finishing a CD in 20 days and I said I'll try my best without thinking twice. She must have taken it as a yes. Anyways I decided to give it my best shot. Everything seemed to be in my favor initially. Patient needs it more than me and she from nearby only so transportation won't be an issue. So with full josh I started the case determined to give the dentures within 15 days.

As days passed by I realized it was a futile dream. The making of complete denture has different steps and as I said before it is difficult to it right in the first attempt. I did not get it right in the first or second or even in the fifth attempt. It was so frustrating and not once did the patient or her son loose their patience with me.
After around ten days it I was convinced it was beyond my abilities to finish the work in 20 days, to give the denture in time for her daughter's marriage.
The next time she came with her son, I went and told him my helplessness. With him I went and told her about the situation. I never understood what went through her mind then. All she said was ok. I was relieved at first but a sense of failure took hold of me later on. After some days her husband also came and asked if there is anyway I could do it. I already did everything possible. She was willing to come on the previous day of the marriage. And in spite of everything her son invited me for the marriage also. I really didn't how to react to that. I lost my interest to do the work only after that. It was my father who then made me realize not everything is in our control and many a times you won't be able to keep your promises. The earlier I learn the better.

It took me another 20 more days to complete it and give the finished dentures to her. Even after the marriage not once she missed the appointment and never complained about the time I took.
I was done with my quotas and was able to write the exam. For our university practical exam we have to do one step in the making of the dentures and we need to bring our own patient. I asked her if she can come for two days as a friend of mine also needed to get a patient. She was totally willing.
In between during my study holidays she came with her son for some treatment and she called me. She was having some sort of ulcer in her mouth and wanted to me to take a look. I was wearing casuals and so under no circumstances could enter the department. I told her I can arrange some one else to look but she doesn't want anyone else to check but me. The feeling I had at that very moment was beyond words. A patient was insisting on seeing me only! Finally I gave some medicines and sent her as I couldn't do anything else.

Theory exams got over. Practicals exams were conducted in two days. I was having it on the second day and my friend had it on the first day. Nabeesa came right on time as always. Exam went smoothly and finally when my friend tried to give her some money for the traveling expense she refused. (This is when many other patients were demanding money. Some even refused to open their mouth before getting some money.)
Second day morning; day of my final year practical exam. She called in the morning and told me about the demise of her father. I was at loss for words as like the previous times. All I could manage was 'Ok so you cant come?'
It was university exam and Prosthodontics is one department where you can't find a suitable patient on the day of exam. Previous preparations are needed.
Her answer literally gave me a shock. She called not to tell she won't come but to ask if its possible to go early.
She came on time and with the help of the staff I could let her go early. I went to auto stand with her and made sure she did not loose any more time. I called an auto, paid and stood there till she left. That was the least I could do.
I cleared the exam and became an intern. I am truly indebted to Nabeesa for my prosthodontics paper. She was indeed an angel and Am sure she is doing good.
After that I called her husband once or twice, promised him I'll visit their home soon but never did and I lost contact with them.
After all life is nothing but a bunch of empty promises and unpaid debts.. But she is the patient I will never forget. My gratitude won't be complete even if I write an epic for her.
Thank you for proving that the world is not a very bad place and miracles do happen.

An Introvert, Am I?

2011-12-01T11:26:00.000-08:00

I have always wondered if I am an introvert or not. I was never really bothered about being lonely or alone. I prefer going places on my own. (Well in that way nobody will come to know the blunders which I usually do.) I can sit in a busy train without talking to anyone for 11 hours straight and I have done that more than once. I don't mind going for movies alone and that many of friends can't digest that because they apparently can't just think of something like that happening.

I prefer talking photos rather than posing for one. Even though I can talk to a person for hours, I am never comfortable in a group of people whom I barely know. (There is an exception to this, just one) I am that kind of a person who doesn't just go with the group and likes to do things the way it fits me or my logic, which needless to say has made many problems with my friends. For me enjoyment is letting people do what they want to do rather being tied up in a group.

Many a times I have been referred to as anti-social but the truth is if Am comfortable with a particular group of people, then the situation is totally different, I'll go around pulling legs, irritating and taunting everyone probably making them wish I was an introvert. So coming back to the original question, Am I an introvert or not? I don't know the answer but I saw this article in Google plus and I could relate to many points in it.. Especially the last sentence!!

(Another interesting angle is such an awesome article first came in G+ and not in Fb!!)

Some Myths about Introverts. Super Interesting ! and Super True !

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

So what you think??

The two years

2011-11-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog I seriously had no idea where it was heading and what Am I gonna put up and after 2 years of blogging I still don't know the answers. . I can safely say this blog has truly happened as a matter of chance.
Writing has always been a passion for me. I enjoy writing and ironically I have the worst handwriting possible. (Which has been made fun of umpteen number of times from my 4th standard malayalam teacher to the college staff, without fail almost everyone who has seen it..Well that is not what this post is about.)
So back to blogging.. I started this thinking it would be the next best thing after facebook (I know, too much exaggeration!! )
Later on i realized it is not gonna happen. (I still don't know why.. Come on I was more qualified than Mark Z when he started fb.. )
Anyways Am happy where I am right now. I got a bunch of readers, who may not always leave a comment but would give the feedback directly.
I don't know how many of you remember the offer I gave for the 1st anniversary ( Free Ice creams!) this time its gonna be even better!
There are two offers.
Offer no 1: 'Like' or '+' as much posts in the blog and person who does the maximum likes can redeem them in KFC! You should see for the sign saying "As a Matter of Chance offer valid". If you find the sign then go ahead and place the order. Once you get it ask for the 'gifts for Likes'
100 likes : beautiful aroma of the fried chicken
200 likes : one tissue paper extra
250 likes : one sachet ketchup
500 likes : one sachet ketchup and a tissue paper extra
(And this time I am not asking you bring any proof or anything because of the simple reason that I trust you guys!)
More than 500 likes : You are lying, there is no way you can put more than 500 likes!!!!

Offer no 2: Its very simple. Just find me and ask me for a coffee! And I shall be giving it!

Best of luck!
Keep reading!! :) :)

A full cup of coffee

2011-11-07T00:14:00.000-08:00

(This is a continuation from 'A half cup of coffee' )

“One more cup please.”

She was standing next to me and I didn’t even see her! And she likes coffee as well. Sarah always surprises me.

“Hey! I didn’t know you liked coffee.”

“I don’t love it but I don’t hate it also. Thing is I am very sleepy right now and I really don’t want to sleep in the next class.. I have heard you drink a lot of coffee.”

She heard about me? Or was she asking about me? I felt any talk in that line would make me look very desperate and stupid. So I did not go with that but I felt really happy that the girl of my dreams has actually heard about me.

“Yeah, some people might even call me an addict. But it’s not that bad, it’s very well under control.”

“That’s good. Too much of anything is not very good.”

That is when I hit the block. I couldn’t think of anything to say to keep the conversation going. And this is like one of those rare moments when she is alone and not with her group of friends.

“So you like this coffee?” Even though I felt it was a stupid thing to ask I just did it.

“Not much. But what choice do I have?”

“Well you can always go to the coffee shop opposite to the college. They serve good coffees.”

“Never knew about that. Actually I haven’t been there many times. May be you can take me there today, after class. What say?”

That was the best moment in my life!! Even though I tried my best to keep it cool there was some amount of excitement when I said yes to her. Just want to classes to get over now! May be I’ll tell her my feelings for her. May be she already knew about and giving me a window to open up. Who knows! I should have asked her out long time back. What a fool I was.

What are they talking for this long? I thought she never drank coffee.And he seems very happy. I wonder if something happened, anyways got to go for the class. They seem least bothered about time.

“Hey!!”

“Before you even start tell me how many coffees you had today? Your breath stinks of coffee only! How many times I have to tell you not to drink so much coffee! You’ll drown in that!”

“Listen it is not about coffee! Well it’s actually about coffee only. Sarah had coffee with me today. Just before the class started!”

“Really?”

I tried making it look like a genuine surprise. Any other time he would’ve found out I was bluffing but he is in hype.

“Yes and the best part is that I am taking her to the coffee day outside the college. In fact she only suggested I take her there when I said they have better coffee. I think she likes me. Can you believe it? I feel like a fool not asking her out before.”

Of course she likes him. In fact she is head over heels about him for the last one year. Every girl in the hostel knows and thankfully no one outside. And his crush for her only I knew. I could have brought the love birds together. But I never did. Now fate only took the first step..

“What are you thinking so much?”

Then only I realized he was sitting in front of me and I was day dreaming as usual.

“It is great news! So what are you planning to do?”

“Should I do something? May be I’ll get her some flowers.”

“It’s a bit too early for that. Just go there and be yourself and don’t do anything stupid! And don’t try to impress her with your knowledge about coffee. Just because she agreed to have a coffee with you doesn’t means she wants to hear the history of coffee.”

“But if she asks then I can tell right?”

“For God’s sake coffee is not the only drink in the world! How many times I have to tell you? Now go to your seat and think about what not to tell her. Sir will come now.”

As he left I felt a prick in my heart. The fear of losing him filled my heart, which was immediately replaced by the regret of not telling him my actual feelings. If I had told him earlier he might have said yes also. After all he only has said nobody understands him like me. But somehow he never understood me.

(As the class progressed she was silently wiping the drops of tears before anyone could see it, he was thinking about what to tell her and Sarah was reading about coffee in Wikipedia on her phone.)

Continued in The Empty Cup of Coffee

Murders at the hospital

2011-08-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

A Lacron’s carver is commonly used by a dental student. They use it for carving wax mostly. It has a sharp end and a curved end. Some use the curved end for picking ears. But I have an entirely different use for a Lacron’s carver. I use it for killing people.

Amberville was not always like this. There was a time when no dark alleys existed. Every street was considered safe for women and children. But the great depression changed everything. It bought out the wild side of the men. Plundering and looting continued for months. Every honest man had to take weapons just to survive in the wilderness Amberville had become. Even women and children were not spared. They were raped and kidnapped. Soon, the good men fled the city. What started as random fights and looting slowly began to get organized. Those who had the power and means to take control took over the reins of the city and divided it among themselves. Police and judiciary were made mockery of. Greed, lust and violence gripped the city. Even on the sunniest day, the city looked dull and depressing.

I had left the city before the depression for my studies. The place I came back to wasn’t my home… it was hell. Anti social elements infiltrated the society. Brothels become the safer places for women. Many of my childhood friends were already dead. Others have chosen the path of violence. My childhood sweetheart was added to the unsolved murders in the city. I had nowhere else to go. I was on the verge of insanity when I got the job at the General Hospital. It was one the few places left as it is by the mob.

I had a steady flow of patients in the dental extension of the hospital now. Broken teeth were the most common problem which wasn’t surprising. It may be due to fights or sometimes innocent people getting hit by the petty thieves. People who disagreed with the big shot gangsters usually returned in a coffin.

A Saturday morning.

I got a call from the hospital asking me to go to room 66 immediately. Sensing the urgency of the caller I rushed. I reached there and saw a big burly man with two broken arms, a broken rib cage and many broken teeth. I needn’t guess why I was called. Nobody explained what happened either, that was left to imagination. That was how it was in the city. Nobody talked. But the rumors went around saying he was indeed the Bear himself. No one knew his real name. He had a violent history. He never took orders from anyone other than his boss Theodore. With the help of the Bear, he controlled the Westside area. I was furious when he came back to his room. Why did I have to treat him? I asked the walls and chairs of his room as there was no one else. I thought about the Bear. He had more resemblance to an animal than to a human. May be that’s why they call him the Bear. Watching the news didn’t help at all. Bear was apparently beaten up by a rival gang while he was putting his long knife into a 5 year old just to teach his father a lesson. The rival gang came and gave him a nice beating and left. They were not bothered about the kid. Why would they bother about somebody’s boy? Bear managed to pull out his cell phone and call for help. But the kid bled to death. In the heavy rain nobody noticed the red tinge of the puddles formed.

I started off with scotch to calm my nerves. After thinking again and again I finally decided to do something that could calm my nerves for a longer time. I took a Lacron’s carver and an anesthetic gel and stepped out into the heavy rain. After 10 minutes here I am outside the hospital. The hospital in the rain gave a ghostly appearance. The orange light from the sodium vapor lamp added on to this. I walked towards the rear entrance where I wouldn’t be seen entering the hospital. Surprisingly there were no body guards outside Bear’s room.

I entered the room slowly. Nothing but a thin outline could have been seen from the room. I closed the door and moved towards the bed without making a sound. In the dim light from the bathroom I looked around and found none. I heard something from the windows. Must be some sound from outside. A rat or something I guess.I checked the patient file to find that the Bear was sedated. He was sleeping like a baby. I took out the anesthetic gel and applied slowly on the Bear’s neck. He shouldn’t feel the pain. It might wake him up.My hands were shaking a bit. After applying I waited for almost 5 minutes for the gel take action. Each minute felt like an hour. The carotid pulse was felt. I imagined a beating snake under my fingers and in a sudden fluid motion I sliced both the carotid arteries with the carver. Blood spurted out. I have never seen blood flowing like that before. It made me nauseous and I took five minutes to realize the importance of the time. I covered the Bear with the blanket till the neck, cleaned my hands and the carver and walked out closing the door behind me.

As he left in a hurry he had failed to see the blue eyes observing him behind the curtain. He stood there behind the curtain well hidden from the dim light in the room. He stayed there for some more time before going to the bed. He got the familiar aroma of blood as he approached. It has always excited him. Perhaps that is why he chose to be a professional assassin.

I was badly in need of another drink. I hurried back home. On the way was the church, the church of Saint George. It was already Sunday. The big statue of the saint on a white horse slaying a dragon was there in front of the church. It wasn’t raining anymore. There was light inside. The priest must be getting ready for the morning service. The church was as old as the city itself and it used to attract large numbers. But now hardly a few went to the church. Istood there for a moment before deciding what to do. I walked inside and saw the priest.

“Father I need to confess!”

“At this hour? There is confession session every Friday afternoon. Why didn’t you come then?”

“I have done a sin and seek the forgiveness of the Lord. Surely you can’t say no to that.” “No I cannot say no to that. Come.” The priest sighed.

The Father sat and I knelt in front of the confessional.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned………….. “

After I was done he started advising me “Son, your path is wrong. It will lead to self destruction and you will end up in the eternal fires of the hell. No bad deed is justified in front of God. Repent your actions and say ‘Hail Mary’ 5 times and offer it to cleanse your soul.”

As the priest was saying the necessary prayers I walked out. I again looked at the statue of St.George. At that moment it was pride that filled my heart and was not repenting a bit about what I did.He killed a dragon and I, a bear. Both for the same reasons.

I reached home, finished the bottle of scotch and slept the whole day. Seems I missed a lot on the channels about the murder but the newspapers carried different vivid and colourful stories about the murdered gangster the next day morning. Media and the people suspected rival gangs but police did not comment anything. They were actually relieved to see the bear dead on a bed soaked with his own blood. The men who knew the truth chose silence.

John became an assassin to survive. He had understood that in Amberville you have to lay down your righteousness and morality if you want to live. He excelled at his job and that was why the Westside Mafia collectively hired John for finishing of what they started. Finish the Bear. Even though he did not do the job himself he still collected the fee and started inquiring about the mysterious visitor who made his job easier. John was also the main mediator among the gangs. He occasionally engaged and sometimes killed rogue members of the mafia to ensure the balance of the city. Nobody questioned the man with the blue eyes. Bear was one among them. John was well informed about the mafia and it was not difficult for him to find out about David.

Two weeks passed since that day I took law into my hands. It was a dull day as any other day when Sarah walked into my clinic with a broken filling. She was beautiful. What started as a normal doctor patient chit chat went beyond that by the time she was leaving. I guess she found me different from the other men of the city. I loved her eyes. I felt compassion and warmth in those eyes. Had never seen any of those after coming to the city. Sarah was not from here. She told me she was a journalist who came to do a feature on the city and its downfall. She was not very happy with this assignment as any wrong move could take her life. I met her again for dinner. I supported her work and gave her courage to go ahead. We started seeing each other regularly. Sarah would tell me the details she found out about the mafia and I would tell tales about my patients.Highly unethical but never the less entertaining. I enjoyed her company. It took me back to my college days. Days have become brighter.

With the same modus operandi only I eliminated two more men. This threw of the balance in the city. Nobody was sure who was killing who. I never knew about this pressure building up in the underworld. I was happy to be with Sarah. I confessed after each killing but never did what the priest asked me to do. Thank god for them. They keep the confessions secret.

Almost a month after we started seeing each other one day I found Sarah on the verge of tears. She was scared like a small rabbit trying to run from a wolf. I took her to his apartments and made her a strong coffee. It was only after half an hour or so Sarah told him what happened. She was at Jimmy’s bar, a place where these scumbags hang out. So while she was there looking for sources for her report she met this guy. He said he was the half brother of the bear who was killed more than a month ago. His name was Samuel. He was willing to do or say anything to get some information about the killer. Sarah acted as if she knew something to get some information and Samuel gave her a lot of real dirty info about the whole mafia setup. With the two new killings Samuel got very curious as to what sort of information Sarah had. When Sarah didn’t give a proper answer he put the word out that she knew something of these hospital murders. And now this guy called Smith wanted to talk to her. Smith was the agent for one of gangs. She was to go to the 5^th Avenue crossroad at 10 in the night and walk east. If she did not come or go to police she would be killed. Simply put. I badly wanted to tell her about the murders. I have never talked to her about them,even though I was tempted many a times. She doesn’t seem to know anything more than what the press or people know. But I kept his desires away and said I can go with her.

“He said I should go alone.”

“Then I’ll keep a distance. I have a revolver given to me by the police after the hospital killings. I can take that also. And no I won’t use. It is just for a safety.” But I already made other plans.

I was thinking I could use a change of style. Whoever this Smith guy was, the city would be a better place without him. I know the location would be isolated in the night. Only drunkards and drug addicts would go there.

Sarah was punctual. She was at the 5^th Avenue crossroad and started walking east. It was raining heavily. I am sure I won’t be noticed. As Sarah started walking I followed matching her pace. Suddenly out of the shadows a man emerged and started walking with Sarah. I couldn’t hear what they were talking. The rain somehow reminded me of the night he killed the bear. I felt that familiar chill up his spine. As they were walking the man suddenly pushed Sarah to one side and his went into his pocket. I jumped forward taking out my gun. I saw the flash of a metal in the man’s hand and heard a click. A suppressed shot.My first thought was about Sarah and its paining. But not in the heart. It was below, from my abdomen where the bullet pierced me. I dropped the gun and fell down face to the ground. When I turned I saw the cold eyes of Sarah. There was no warmth or compassion in them. Then the man with blue eyes said “You have caused more damage than good, my friend. Your time has come.” And they left.

As I was lying there getting soaked in the rain with the blood giving a red tinge to the puddles I thought about the priest. I started saying “ Hail mary. Full of grace. The Lord is with thee…..”

Nobody came to help him and neither did he finish the prayer.

(I got inspired from a story series by a fellow blogger who was good enough to help me with the editing also. Thank you Roshan Radhakrishnan. Amberville is a city created by him in his blog and you can more stories at the Godyears. Other stories in the series are Amberville, The Confession, Payback and Guardian Angel )

Inner Peace

2011-08-26T00:43:00.000-07:00

Exactly four years and 24 days after I joined for Bachelor of Dental Surgery my final year results came. And I passed. Am a doctor now. (Technically I have to finish I year internship also before they actually let me pull out someone’s tooth.)

I was totally convinced that it would not come that day but a close friend of mine had an opposing view. She had a gut feeling apparently that it would come on the 24^th of August. I had a rational reasons as to why it won’t come. The site was very fast in opening and was real smooth when I refreshed it again and again. Normally when they upload the results the site would be slow and stuck. The previous day it was so and I was almost sure the results would come. Again my friend had the opposing view. Even though I was convinced it would not come I still kept on refreshing the site and just like that without any slowing down it just appeared. Final year BDS results. The feeling I had that very moment is beyond words. It was something like a mix of tension, hope, fear and all.. Again words fail me. I entered my register number with shaky hands ( I don’t think my hands were shaking but just for the dramatic effect lets say they were shaking). I clicked ‘submit’. Thinking back now I should have probably waited a bit and cherished that moment. But in a matter of seconds my results came. I passed for all the seven papers. I felt happy and content. I’d like to think at that very moment I found my inner peace. ( yes I have watched kung fu panda at least 10 times!)

Though I always dreamed of that moment i didn’t know what to do. I did not feel like screaming even though I wanted to. I wanted to shout to my mother. But I just sat there looking at the result. I could tell my mother but she’ll be in the kitchen. (Ever since I came back she is always busy in the kitchen. Food seems to get over fast.) Finally I got up went to the stairs and I found mom looking at me from down the stairs expectantly and asking if anything has come. Mothers have a sixth sense for sensing these things. You talk to some random girl in your class for hours they don’t have a problem but the moment someone special calls they’ll all over you asking a thousand questions! Anyways I said yeah I passed. As every other she was not convinced and came all the way up to see the results for herself. Then she congratulated me. Another Kodak moment it was! Then I started messaging my friends. Called up the near and dear starting from my father who was my inspiration in fact. Then the people whom I would call as my friends. They had to put up with my entire psychotic and neurotic episodes during the study leave. And they should take me a bit more seriously. I called this friend who was convinced the results would come that day and told her she passed. She also was not convinced and thought I was joking; I then had to read out her marks just to convince her. She then screamed on the phone! The next day we were talking and she pointed out that such happy news shouldn’t be told in a grave voice, I should have screamed it onto the phone it seems.

Even to me its still a mystery as to why I did not jump and scream at that moment. I always wanted to. I always thought of doing so. May be I did find my inner peace.

A half cup of coffee

2011-07-06T03:22:00.000-07:00

I am standing there looking at the half full cup of coffee in my hand. I shouldn’t finish it off soon then she’ll think I was waiting here for her. I don’t want her to think like that. At least till I tell her about my feelings, which might be today, tomorrow or never. Who knows...

He is still outside the coffee shop?? How much time will he take to finish a coffee?? Have to meet him today and talk to him. He has always been a good friend but of all the people I don’t think he has expected me to have feelings for him. Even I didn’t expect me to have them!!

Finally Sarah is heading this way! Why does she have to walk in a group?? If it wasn’t for that group I would have told her long time back. Should I text her again? But that’ll seem desperate, which I am...

If only I can manage to get out of this group and talk to him alone. Even though he said he’ll be there for some more time I doubt. He has been standing there for quite some time now.

“Sarah!! Hey! How are you doing??”

“Guess what! I am going for a party tonight!”

“Really that’s awesome! So what plans till then?”

“I have to head back to home and get ready! You know right how much time girls need to get ready.”

“Oh yes! So going back home huh??”

“Yup!! Anyways see you later! Bye..”

“Bye”

Why is he leaving?? Why can’t he stay till I am done here? Anyone might think he was waiting for Sarah. They talked for hardly a minute and now she is gone. He is also slowly walking away. Bad luck I guess!

I stood there looking at the half empty cup of coffee in my hand. It was cold. I threw it and walked away.

(Continued in The full cup of Coffee)

Back again!!

2011-04-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since I had put something here. Partly because life is getting hectic and majorly because I got lazy!! But that didn’t prevent me from reading blogs. Today I read a post on posts, comments and self promotions. Suddenly it hit me! It has been almost 3 months since I did any sort of self promotion!!! Anyway the past 3 months had been really ‘eventful’!

- A visit to Jaipur for a presentation. Made a bunch of awesome friends and memories over there!
- Another trip to Ooty with my friends from college!
- College culturals in which my batch took the overall!
- I did my first extraction (pulling out tooth!!! Something which I like to make money on!)
- My handwriting which has a reputation finally showed some signs of improvement!!! It has gone from illegible to slightly legible. For this I should probably thank the teacher who assured me he would make me write in a four line notebook to ‘help’ me. And then there is another teacher who asked my sun sign. I promptly told Scorpio thinking he would give astrological explanation/solution to this phenomenon. “Oh! So that’s why you write as if a Scorpio has walked on the paper!!” was the response. I couldn’t help but laugh at his answer. That was by far the most innovative insult I got for my handwriting.

These are the major events, I think. Elaboration can be done on each as well but I am too lazy now to do that! And there are other things as well which I might post some other day!

The next major item on the list is my university exam which as of now is going to start on June 21^st! The ultimate thriller! Like never before!

So hopefully I won’t be spending much time online!!! (Yeah right! As if it’s gonna happen!!!!)

Diary of my nerd Neighbor : D-man strikes again with the screw ups!!

2011-01-17T12:52:00.000-08:00

Dear diary, I gotta tell you this so badly before anything else. I have always worked hard since I can remember but last one month you know, was truly hectic!! I am not complaining you see, because I know this is what to expect. Unlike Rohan who was complaining throughout the posting. He as usual got screwed every single day! There are no apparent reasons other than his utterly foolish answers he tells every time something is asked. I don’t know for sure but I have heard someone telling me that one sir got so pissed of with his answer that sir actually hit him on his back!! I always miss these golden moments!! At one point of time Rohan got so much depressed and frustrated with the constant screwing he got, he started taking it out on us. It was simply horrible!!

But the weirdest thing is that in spite of all this he gets to represent the college and go somewhere. God only knows where and all.. I didn’t bother asking also! Who wants to waste time like that?? Even though it would have been a nice experience… Initially I used to feel sympathy at the constant screwing he gets from the staff. Thought he might change and stop irritating us but that will never happen I guess.. He was very happy at the last day in that dept but then he got screwed like never before in the viva.. It seems the staff had a good time asking him questions while he just kept quite. Even the staff got mad and said that we all are dumb (how dare she calls us that?? May be because she haven’t taken my viva till then) but he is dumber than the rest!! The D-word is clinging on to him like a label!! And am loving it!! Do you remember diary, before also a professor had called him D-man!! Anyways he has to give the viva again! Ha!

(As always I again would like to say that the nerd neighbor is a work of fiction! Recently a friend of mine came to me and said it was very bad of me to write about her like this!! I was taken aback by the fact that my blog is getting more readers!! Am content! Recently my days were really bad as I screwed up so many things.. Can’t really blame the staff alone for getting screwed. Its difficult to admit but there were many mistakes from my part also which put me into unavoidable conflicts with others.. I can proudly say I am wiser than what I was a month ago. And I should thank the very staff who screwed me for that. I started reading just to avoid getting the daily routine ‘idiot’ calling! But could never avoid that as I always screw up something each time!! And then there were these people around me who had to bear all my frustration just because they happened to be my friends!!! Couldn’t help it!)

Half of January is over so its kinda late for new year events but this one is awesome. I welcomed the new year and the new decade by being online and doing absolutely nothing else! I was invited by Vijay (Mallya) for his party in Goa but I didn’t go because it seems my pet bat Roxi was not allowed inside!! They claimed it to be a party for night creatures and I cant take mine! Moronic!!

(In case you haven’t noticed there is a Facebook box in the right side. If you click on the 'like' rest assured Mark Z is gonna give you regular updates from this blog!!! :) )

A year and a decade

2010-12-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

Twenty ten. I should say it was a very good year. Many good things happened to me. College life was never like before. It was the happening year! Except for a few serious blunders the minor blunders went unnoticed this year..

The decade started with me as a 5th standard or 6th standard boy dreaming to be a scientist one day.. As years went many realities hit on my head. There were many regrettable incidences, which happened due to my thought, word, action or omission. There were instances in which I should have said no, but didn’t. It had a good share of happy memories also.. Memories of school life which would be cherished forever.
Coming to the end of the decade, I realized being a scientist doesn’t pay you much so I chose to be a dentist and is currently studying for that. I really hope the coming year and decade would be greater than the one that is getting over!!!
Happy New year!

You hav a text msg!!!!

2010-12-18T08:05:00.001-08:00

(Following is a sms conversation between two people, apparently a boy and a girl.. who is who is up to the reader to decide!! )

“Wea u?”

“Class.. Y??”

“Am in d garden… Wer v used 2 sit..”

“So?”

“Felt like talking 2 u.. Wen s class getn over?”

“4”

“k”

“Wat u want 2 talk abt??”

“Abt us…”

“Wat abt us?? Its al over..”

“Is it?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t think so..”

“its not my prob”

“true.. nothin was prob with u!”

“bull shit! I always cared 4 u!!”

“Do u? Stil?”

“Do u??”

“mmm.. Think so. . U?”

“Look bak stupid!! :) ”

10 steps for a Free Icecream!!

2010-11-21T11:55:00.000-08:00

It’s been a year since the blog was born. As with my most of other actions this also didn’t have any particular reason or aim. It just happened As a Matter of Chance! On this happy occasion I am offering free coffee flavored ice creams to all my readers!!!
This is being done in association with Baskin Robbins.
Please follow the steps given below to get it.

1) Put a comment on this post or any other post. (Previous comments are acceptable)
2) Take a print out of that page.
3) Go to your nearest Baskin Robbins outlet.
4) Check for the sign saying “As a Matter of Chance Offer Valid!!”
5) Go in and order coffee flavored ice cream
6) Enjoy the ice cream
7) Show cashier your print out
8) Show your id
9) Argue with the cashier
10) Walk/run out!!!

Repost this on your facebook, twitter or anywhere else to get more flavors. Offer valid only for a week!
Enjoy your ice cream!!
It’s been a great year!
Keep Reading!!!

Diary of my Nerd neighbor: Long hours, Coffee and the D-man!!

2010-10-24T12:09:00.001-07:00

Final year till now has been really hectic (well not that hectic but people expect it to be hectic, so Am just telling it to be hectic!!). Daily morning classes are there and I am always the first to reach class. I enjoy these classes very much. The crisp fresh morning helps you learn really well.

But Rohan always comes late and nicely sleep in the class. I don’t why the staffs haven’t caught him till now. First of all I don’t how he came to final year. I was sitting near him in the exams and I don’t think there was even one answer he wrote on his own. (The Exams) Anyways the class starts at 8 am and goes till 11 on most of the days. 3 lectures a day. The best part about being in final year is that the teachers who come to take class explain everything with the great detail with the clinical aspect. They are so much concerned about us understanding the topic they go to any extend to make us learn. I don’t understand how Rohan can sleep in such classes. He really doesn’t know what he is missing out.

Among his irritating habits the latest is his coffee drinking. After every class he runs out and after 5 minutes comes back with a cup of coffee and fills the A/C lecture hall with its aroma... It’s truly disgusting. I don’t like that smell of coffee..

And worst of all he is in my posting batch also. This means we are in the same batch for clinical postings throughout the year.. Things can’t be any worst. Only two postings have been over till but I feel like its been more than a year.. Its true that time goes really slow when you are with whom you really want to avoid!! But then again I cant do anything about it so I always pretend he is invisible and cant hear him.. Especially when he is cracking his really stupid PJs..

But once I was happy when he told a joke. Not that the joke was good; they are always bad jokes.. But right after he told it a professor saw him talking and caught him for that. He was made to repeat the work he was doing and was asked to show him only all his work from that day on. This professor is somewhat a perfectionist and Rohan is the last person to make something perfect. That was one of my happiest day in that department. Now he is going to lag in his work. But surprisingly his work starts improving. The worst part is now he just goes to that professor and tells him bluntly that he didn’t understand if something is not clear.. Totally rude!!

But the best part was on the last day or I thought so.. There is something called an appliance where you have to make an initial skeleton kind of thing with steel wire and then acrylize it. So we have to sign for the wire bending and then for the final appliance. He didn’t know it and I was least bothered to tell him also. He was showing one of these appliances to this sir and he asked if he had taken sign for the wire bending. Rohan obviously had no idea about this and said no and even went on to say that he doesn’t think others also know. Sir got angry and asked everyone. Apparently Rohan was the only one who didn’t know about this. Instead of getting angry as I hoped sir got amused and called him the D-man!! And asked what does D stand for. He promptly replied donkey.

“That you already are. Tell me or else Am not gonna leave you!”

“Dumb??”

“Yes! You are the Dumb-man!!”

Never before I was so happy.. Sir asked him to get his record book and I was sure sir will be canceling most of his works which means he has to do them again.. I expected him to be sad and depressed. But it seems sir remembered him showing the wire bending and so he cancelled only one sign.. Just one work!!!

I thought life was good again.. God knows how I’ll manage rest of the year with him!!!

(As I have mentioned before the Nerd neighbor is a work of fiction. But most of the other stuff is true. Sleeping in the class, frequent coffees to keep myself awake.. Getting caught for laughing and talking.. I have done blunders before also (like most of my vivas and answer sheets!!) but getting a name doing one is pretty much new to me!! Hope this is the last time am getting one! And now the staff expects us to read textbooks and write assignments. It gets hectic when we pile up everything for the last moment which I always do. Hope the year goes fine…)

Other entries in the diary are The Church Bell acanthoma and The Exams

In which I am Patriotic!!!

2010-09-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

My cousin settled in US asked me what I thought of the whole mosque and ground zero issue. I promptly replied its nothing but the usual American stupidity with a spoonful of paranoia of the terrorism thing! Right at that moment I felt really proud to be an Indian! After living in this country for almost 22 years I have never seen anyone actually bothered about such things in India…
No problem is our problem unless it directly affects us. Such as the broken water pipe, fallen tree on the road, fused street lights etc.. In these situations a true Indian calls up the concerned officials and abuse them, go to his neighbor and together they sit and abuse the bureaucracy of the country or in the worst case scenario he goes and gathers some people and try to do something (the last one has least chance of happening)
Of course we have so many other things not to be proud of. Such as
• Population growth
• Having maintained corruption at a steady rate
• Reservations and quotas still a mess
• CWG
• The Leftists (who oppose almost everything)
• The Congress (who thinks its still dynasty rule)
• Almost all other political parties ( who think nothing of progress)
There are more but these are ones on top of my head.. In spite of these matters I still felt proud today morning about being an Indian. Whatever communal problems occur here in our country Indians as in the people of India will not let it come into their lives. There is a minority of extremists in all the religions who wants to make problems or issues. It’s sad that in this age of liberation some still wants to go to the extreme. Osama has succeeded in terrorizing the people of America but I feel he has a long way to go before Indians actually be bothered about terrorism unless a bomb goes off in his own backyard...

The following is a letter from Dr.A.P.J Abdul Kalam (authenticity can’t be confirmed but its very inspiring)

“Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit.. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is.. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.
..
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say.. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - 'YOURS'. Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are.. You pay $5 (approx. Rs.. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai.. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs..650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.
'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand ..
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan ..
Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.
When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too….. I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.

Stranger in the bar

2010-08-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

"They say a man's life is like a notebook. It’s filled with the big round letters of childhood with so many blanks. Slowly the blanks get filled and words are formed. Beautiful words of innocence which grows to the rapid scribbling of adulthood." – A guy with very long hair and beard

The smell of the coffee is still lingering on my fingers. The coffee I had with the famous inspirational guru in his calligraphy institute half an hour ago who said the above words... According to him I am in my scribbling phase of life and I should start enjoying the beauty of the small things around me... For starters he strongly suggested I stop my drinking habits and start a new life altogether.
Yet here I am admiring the beauty of a glass of 60ml vodka in front of me. I smiled.
“If you ordered the drink just to admire the beauty I’ll go ahead and do the honors of finishing it!” said the bald old guy sitting next to me. I never noticed him coming. I finished the drink and told in a mock sorry voice trying not to offend him that I was lost in thoughts.
“You don’t seem like someone who gets lost in thoughts.” He said.
Then we had quite a few drinks and he got into the talkative phase. He kept on saying funny things about himself and the people whom he has met in his journeys. Then suddenly he stopped and said “I was being rude talking about myself all this time. Now let’s talk about you. What you do for a living? And why were you lost in thoughts?”
I didn’t feel like hiding anything from this good hearted fellow. I told him about my problems. About the meetings I had with various gurus and other similar people who claimed to have answers but I never got one.
He was very interested when I told about the latest person whom I met a few hours ago. He started abusing them royally. Almost everyone in the place looked at us. I was taken aback by his sudden outburst but I joined him! It was so relieving to curse every one of them who took my time and money yet gave nothing in return. I was having a really good time with this stranger.
Finally he stood up, kept his arm on my shoulder and said “I had a good time with you so allow me to pay your bill and we’ll part” He was very insistent and I had to agree.
“But you haven’t told me your name.”
“Oh you know me. We have met earlier this evening. It’s just that I don’t put my hair and beard outside the institute!!!”

A Dream Fulfilled!!!

2010-08-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

If I ever had a list of what all should I do before going up, watching a live show of Motherjane would be in the top 5!!! If any of you don't know about motherjane yet, please visit the link!! It is a carnatic rock band started in 1996 in Kochi.. It has won so many awards in India and abroad.... Their rock is unlike any other rock has a classic touch.. The music has peculiar flow which you can recognise anywhere you hear it!!

Now coming to the fulfilment of my dream. When I was walking around Kottayam my home town, suddenly I saw a Motherjane poster!! It seems they are coming to Kottayam and when I checked its only for a private club... And there appeared no way in which I could go to it.. But after trying really hard I got into some private arrangements which are kept confidential on request!!! Still there was an uncertainty till the moment that phone call came, asking me to come to the entrance!!! It was happening at last!!
Then the essential wait... I sitting in front of a coffee counter alone ( Apparently the private club members are all too private!!) and Baiju who is the lead guitarist walked out of the stage and came right up there!! I shook hands with him and he was so down to earth!!!! It really amazed me!
Then there was Deepu walking around but somehow I couldn't talk to him!! After that I went to main stage and I was again amazed to see Abhijith the band's manager with Suraj standing in a corner talking casually to some other guys... I could just go upto them and talk.. They were totally cool!!

Again after some more wait the show actually started!!! They started off with Disillusion then Mindstreet and after that Blood in the Apple.. By that time I was getting frequent calls from home asking me to come back.. Finally when I decided to go back home, Abijith told the next one is 'Chasing the sun' which is one of my favourites!! So I stayed back!! But then again the song after that was Tribes of Babel, it was the one I always wanted to hear!!They composed it for the Amnesty International!!! So I stood for that also!! And then my phone vibrated for the 3rd time, I knew it was either 'home-way' or the highway!!!
Even though the crowd was a bit dull in the first song, gradually the energy of the band struck a cord with the crowd and many guys started singing along!! But I came out and headed home when the collective energy of crowd was at its peak!!!
The best moments in life always remain the shortest!!!

(This post is dedicated to the two people who helped to meake this dream come true!!)
Kudos to them!! And Motherjane, Keep rocking!!!!

The Lesser known Heroes!!

2010-07-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

Anybody knows what happened to Messi, Kaka, Dunga or Maradona??? They were the stars before the FIFA world cup started!!
Well now we all know where Paul is... He is at the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany presumably guarded by the Spaniards!! And apparently threatened by the Argentinians!!
Actually I was wondering if he could predict other things as well.. Like for instance the cricket or my exam results!!

I think its rather unfair that all the spot light be focused on Paul alone.. I mean our dear old 'parrot tarot' thing was there since ages and who knows if given a chance they might also predict the results!!
These are some other psych animals I came across which could use some of the spotlight..

1) Harry the crocodile

Harry, an Australian crocodile predicts the winner by eating a chicken coming out of a box which is obviously marked with the flags of the countries playing and it seems Harry agrees with Paul about the final..
We'll have to wait and see if they are correct..

2) Frocky the hen

Frocky is the hen used by some famous Hollywood astrologists to help with the problems of celebrities.. The celebrity is to sit near the hen and tell her the problems. Frocky replies by laying eggs the next morning. Experienced egg-readers are then summoned and they read the inscriptions on the egg and happy celeb goes back home!! Frocky is apparently not a big football fan and hence was not available to predict the WC finals and she also said she is not into these publicity stunts to get attention.. Her clients do that all the time and she is tired of it!!

3) Mani the Parrot

That's one parrot who got the guts to stand up against Paul. May its because Mani won't go to water and Paul can't come out of water!! She is the modern day idol of the tarot parrots!! Anyway the parrot predicted Spain loosing the game... We'll know who was correct in a day..

4) Ray the stray dog

Ray is an extraordinary and rare species of dog.. Other than having psychic powers to predict the future by rhythmic tail wagging, they never age. In history the first reference to the Ray was noted in the Mayan civilization. Archeologists have found a drawing showing a dog predicting the end of the world in 2012!! Researchers are pretty sure that this particular dog is the Ray only!
Nostradamus was the next person who was fortunate enough to have a Ray...As we know he wrote an entire book on those predictions..
Later on there is no definite proof for the existence of Ray but people are pretty sure that Hitler had one which was later kidnapped by a highly trained Russian commando and then followed the obvious fall of Hitler!!
Reports suggest that the Portuguese water dog Bo in the White house is also a Ray dog and there has been rumors that Bo also thinks its gonna be Spain only this time..

And finally,
5)Nandini the cow

Nandini the famous wish granting cow in the mythology!! Her lesser known powers include the ability to predict cricket matches accurately!! Bookies who know about her keep quite and bet high and those who don't know her just looses the bet!! Stories say if you provide her with nutritious grass everyday for 121 days without a break she'll gift you with the inside info of IPL and the ways to control it!! Being an Indian she is not that into football!!!

Paul the octopus was again right about Germany winning the loser's final. But it got wrong for the UEFA finals and lets see if it gets it right this time!!
Apparently just two animals in the above list actually exist!!

Feel free to add your own list of psych animals!!! The best one will be replacing Paul for the next FIFA world cup!!!

Dairy of my Nerd Neigbour: The Exams!!

2010-07-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

Phew!! Exams over finally!!

Now waiting for the practicals!! Theory papers were very difficult!

1st paper Medicine was so difficult I didn't get time to finish a 3 mark question and that Rohan sitting next to me was asking me like everything. How can I show him the answers (as if I want to)!!! It was a university exam and he was acting as if it was just another internal exam. He would sit straight only when the external examiner comes to us. I was seriously hoping him to sit in our hall so that fool won't turn and irritate me. He was asking so much the hall invigilator came and talked to him. I was expecting sir to change his place but sir just told him the answers!!! How absurd!!! And why is nobody telling me any answers???

Even the 2nd surgery exam was also tough! Thou I could write everything I just didn't have the satisfaction after coming out of the exam hall. Think its because I couldn't draw diagrams properly. Even today also Rohan was asking me but I just pretend that I did not hear him. Then there was a question I was not sure of and Rohan just asked it to invigilator!! Can you believe it?? Asking to the invigilator openly!! I was hoping for an angry ma'am, Very angry ma'am!! But she just told him the bloody answer!! And the saddest part is my answer was wrong and I corrected it also!!

The 3rd exam Oral Path was OK!! I could write everything except for a syndrome which I have heard of before but no clue as to what it was about.. I wanted to ask someone but what if somebody sees me?? What if they catch me and take some action against me?? When I was about to ask the person sitting back our sir came and warned against any malpractice.. It seems they caught someone using a blue tooth headphone!! I was so tensed I didn't even move till the exams got over!!

The last exam was Community Dentistry.. My seniors all used to I can write as much 'gas' in this paper! But the paper was difficult. One of the essay questions was out of syllabus!!
Shockingly Rohan was writing like anything!! Somebody told me he finished up the entire answer booklet which is about 50 pages! I could write only 42 pages.. I tried very hard to write so much but I just couldn't fill it up. That was the first time I saw someone actually filing up the entire booklet!!! I really can't think how its gonna be!!!

(As I have stated earlier The Nerd Neighbour is a fictitious character.. Nobody in my batch comes close to such behavior!! At least not very close!!!!
Fortunately people sitting around me were good enough to share the answers, in spite of the frequent visits from the 'kinda cool' external and not so cool internal examiner!! Several times we were warned but nothing more! The biggest surprise was the staff who came for invigilation.. Most of them are known to screw us!!Initially they asked us not to turn or talk, then not to shout the answers and finally they just joined the group and started telling the answers!! God bless them!!
And I did write the entire booklet for the last exam!! Its literally full of crap and if anyone reads through them they might jump out from the window!!! But on the other hand if they give just 1 mark per page appreciating my talent for filling up the paper with 'gas' I just might pass!!!
As my Nerd Neighbor, am also just waiting to finish of the practicals and go home as soon as possible!
Surgery practicals got over today and if they are putting marks on how much I made them laugh with my blunders I might just get to pass!!!
Dates not yet confirmed for the rest of the exams but am seriously bored of watching sitcoms and sleeping!! Mmm.. I wonder as to what I will be doing at home!! Other than eating I still be watching sitcoms and sleeping!!!)

You might also like Dairy of my Nerd Neighbor: The Church bell Acanthoma

Exams again!!

2010-05-05T09:19:00.000-07:00

The yearly event to make sure you live for a month entirely on coffee and chocolates!

The yearly event to make sure you don't use pillows to sleep!

The yearly event to make sure you regret every time you bunked and went for a movie!

The yearly event where your imagination reaches new heights!!

The ultimate suspense thriller!! Exams!!

I have not been putting up any posts recently as my imagination and creativity was drained by cracking stupid PJs to the serious studious students (read girls!!)
As my university exam is supposed to be in June 3rd week, they have started preparing for the battle! These are some random thoughts about exams..

Apparently there are three attitudes seen among the exam going students.

1)"OH MY GOD!!! Hardly a month!!! What to do with that??"

2)"One month is there!! Have to plan a timetable and start from 'tomorrow'!"

3)"When is Iron Man 2 releasing??" ( Actually when is it getting released??)

The advent of exam season is marked by a sudden increase in attendance and frequent visits to library.
Or it is when I see a couple sitting separately and studying during free time!(Couples doing combined 'study' is a common sight actually!!)
During exam I always felt there is spurt of creativity in everyone. After sitting with the book for sometime you get up bored, go to the other room, start talking about something and the ideas coming are totally mind blowing!! The 'night outs' are yet another phenomenon seen during the season! Last time I did a night out I kept my laptop on thinking I'll watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S or House MD while taking breaks.. And it ended up watching books while taking a break from the laptop!!
The most depressing part in the season is that there is no one to talk to properly!! Either most of them are busy studying or all they want to talk to about is studies! Its really depressing!!
I really hope to concentrate and get through somehow!!

"Damn true: Just when we sit down to study, Everything else on earth gets so interesting!!
Even just staring at the wall!!" - Another forwarded sms..

Dairy of my Nerd neigbour: The Church bell Acanthoma

2010-04-07T13:01:00.000-07:00

Today was a bad day!! I couldn't answer a question in the class test..
I came early to class and sat next to the topper.. Not that I wanted to copy or anything (I was studying for the last one week!!!), but just in case.. But sir made me move from that place and had to sit in the back bench.. I hate those places..
Then Rohan came. First of all he was late and above all he came and sat right behind me.. Test started. It was pretty easy.. I just didn't know one answer.. After 5 minutes I think, Rohan started poking me, he was asking for my paper!! I was too afraid to turn!! Sir will think i tried to copy from him.. (Yeah right!! As if I want to copy from him!!You really cant believe how dumb they act at times..)
I told him ( facing front only, not turning back) I'll dictate the answers.. "I just know one answer!! You'll dictate the whole answer sheet?" He asked. I sat as if I didn't hear what he said. I got up to take an extra paper, saw Rohan's paper. It was shocking! Yeah, it was almost blank.. But the only answer he wrote was the answer I didn't know! I asked him that answer.. "You bloody @!!@$!@$!@!@$... " was the reply.. I am still wondering how he knew the answer...* I think sir saw me turning back.. I simply sat there as if nothing happened.. But then sir came and went through my paper. He didn't say anything, kept it back and took Rohan's paper.. I heard an exclamation..
"What is this?? Church bell acanthoma??** Even though I listened hard I could hear only some mumbled response from Rohan. Finally sir took our papers and left.. Throughout the day I thinking of those two things.. How he knew the answer and what is church bell acanthoma.. I tried searching it in every standard foreign and Indian authors text books.. I searched online also but still I have no idea about it..
Tomorrow have to ask the class topper or I'll ask sir only..

* I had the notes with me.. Unfortunately it had only one answer!!!
** Acanthoma is a pathological condition.. Church bell is how it looked in my paper..

***The nerd neighbor is a work of fiction but 'church bell acanthoma' has been found in my paper recently!!!

Stranger on Train

2010-04-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

Sarah was the first to smile at her. She smiled back. It was beautiful but a deep sorrow was evident on her face in spite of the smile. She was sitting in the seat diagonal to mine and Sarah was on my lap. Sarah, my 2 year old cousin continued showing some actions at her. Finally she came towards us. But shattering my expectations she didnt stop or talk but lightly stroked on Sarah's cheek, looked at me and walked to the end of the compartment.

I suddenly got the urge to follow her so i gave Sarah back to her mother and went after her. There she was waiting for me.
"Are you a Scorpio?"
"What??" I was taken aback by this strange question.
"Your sun sign. Is it Scorpio?"
"Yes. How did you guess?"
"It was not a guess. A Scorpio always know when it meets another. I am amazed you didn't know it. You never had any such experience?"
"Like what??"
"You meet someone for the first time and then within no time you realise the bond and become really close.. It has happened to me quite a few times."
"I don't think it has happened to me."
"Well now it happened.."
And then she laughed. The ice was broken.
Then she started to ask about me. Unlike every other train journey with every other stranger I didn't hold back or make up anything. I told her everything.How I first fell in love and the horrible breakup which happened recenly. I told her honestly how depressed I was..How often I have thought of suicide.. Never before I have told anyone that I was seeing a therapist. May be
she was right about Scorpio thing. I was not a big believer in sun signs and all.
When I started asking her about her life, she said "Its a long story. I will tell you after your dinner. Think your family is waiting for you."
Indeed they were waiting for me. I didn't tell anything to them. I didn't want them to start yelling at me!!
I quickly had something and went back to her. She was standing at the same place.
"You are not having dinner??"
"No. I had food before getting on the train."
"Alright. So tell me about you.."
"I'll tell you in concise.
My first love happened when I was in school, 11th or 12th.. That was one the best times in my life. We made so many plans for the future believing true love is meant to last long.. Sadly it lasted only for about 6 months. Parental problems!! After school we have talked once or twice on phone.. Then I met this wonderful guy in college. We became friends very fast. I told him everything about my first love.. He was very understanding. He talked to my parents and they kind of agreed and he talked to his parents, they also were ok.. For the next three years in college we spent every moment thinking and caring about each other.. Small fights came in between us but only to make our love stronger... But things always dont't work the way you want it to.. Everything came to a crashing end when he asked me to run away with him.. His parents had never allowed him.. I quarreled with him, stopped talking to him but in the end I gave in... We got into a train and I dreamed of a happy life.. Iwoke up when the train reached its destination but he was not there with me. I didnt know what happened. It was like waking up into a nightmare. For one year I lived in that place, then came back to make the journey once again. And here I am!! It was on this train one year ago we made the journey."
"You didn't inquire or ask anyone?? His friends or relatives??"
"No. I let it rest. Uncertainty is the essence of life.. one year ago when I got on to the train I was certain, but it became uncertain overnight.. I was uncertain what to do when I got into this train."
I was totally speechless.. She was looking out into the darkness, to the distant lights.. Suddenly she turned and said " I cant take it anymore. Goodbye, it was nice talking to you. I know how to make everything certain.. "
I tried holding her back but she was fast and in the commotion I lost my balance and fell out. My head hit on a rock and I passed out. After sometime I regained conscious, I saw her sitting nearby apparently unhurt..
"What happened? You seems OK.."
"I am OK because I didn't fall down. You fell down.."
I didn't understand.. I tried to think hard but my head was paining like anything.. I remember she trying to jump and I was trying to save her.
She came near me and said " You still didn't understand.. Did you?? I am you.. The story I told was what happened to you only.
You believed suicide was not the right way so your mind made me for you to accidentally jump out of a moving train.."

Everything became dark again..

(His body was found the next morning)

Problems and Solutions!!

2010-03-19T09:56:00.000-07:00

Problem: a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved

It can be classified into Mild, Moderate or Severe. When a number of mild problems coalesce a severe problem emerge. This is life. If you don't have any problem you probably are dead. Then again the problem arises on what is to be done with it!! (Actually its not your problem!!)
Usually I'll be having mild problems here and there. But last one week got me into so much problems.
It was the continuation of last post's problems only.. Though last weekend was one of the most eventful 3 days in my college life I couldn't enjoy myself because I was sitting inside my small cocoon of problems.. Most of which I made for myself..
Even after the Grand finale (of problems)!!! I was still inside the cocoon!!
Thinking about it now, I realized there is a specific pattern for any problem..
First of all there is a 'problem maker'(in whose eyes you are the problem maker!!!)
Then there is a 'solver'!! ( Who in fact solves a problem you never had!)
Now comes the essential components the 'lighter' and the 'fuel'!!
Obviously to burn you need fuel but how much ever fuel you have it wont burn unless you light it and that is how they work.. One fuels the problems and the other just give it a spark!! Voila!! There is FIRE!!!
The 'maker' is the one getting heated, burned and finally getting reduced to ashes!!
While the solver solves the problem of water leakage from the fire engine!! That is also a problem right??
Finally the maker's ash remains... Waiting to be collected in a jar!!!

I realized something else also..
Every problem does not have a solution!! The problem is solved when people get bored of it or get a new problem.
For every problem that has a solution there will be at least 3 people convinced that its not a solution and would go to any extent to find a solution..
In every problem there will at least a person sharing your opinion but most of the times you wont know it..
Finally there is nothing like a friend noticing that you have a problem and asking whats the matter when you badly need someone to tell your side of the story!!!

Thankfully with few such friends those problems subsided!!!
Waiting for more to come!!

The Divine Answer and Fight Club!!

2010-03-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

When some things happen in your life, have you ever wondered if that's how you get answers to your questions... Questions you ask yourself...

For the last two weeks every single time i ask myself what more can go wrong something worst happens..
When i finally thought nothing worse can happen, again something went wrong... Then I started believing.. It is The Answer!!! You ask a question to the Universe and it answers
All these are in reference to the upcoming intra college student cultural event Renaissance 2010 and our ongoing exams!!! I wanted to concentrate on both but I am not!!
Out of the frustration yesterday night instead of studying I ended up watching 'Fight Club' the 1999 Eng movie!!! Awesome!! It gave me so much hopes!! Wish i actually had the multiple personality disorder at times... Every time I go to sleep, I wake up as different person who finishes off every work I had to do... So when the real me wakes up everything is done! How cool is that!
Sadly I am not suffering from multiple personality disorder neither do I have a cool alter ego when I sleep like Brad Pitt... All I have is just a sleeping personality who likes to sleep a lot!!!

Will update soon on Renaissance 2010!!

And another V-Day!!!

2010-02-14T00:17:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day wishes to all!!!

Those who are having girl friend(s)/boy friend(s) do have a great time getting married!! (If you are in Mangalore!!)

Those who are not having boy friend/ girl friend feel free to express anger, distress, grief etc etc against the frank westernization of Indian heritage!!! I am with you!!

Don’t forget to thank the self appointed moral polices of India who are taking so much pain to check the downfall of the Indian Culture.. Guys you are doing a great job to protect the values and traditions of the Indian society!!! Instead of all the bad publicity you ought to get some appreciation.. But I am confused about lot of things. May be its just my ignorance about the Indian culture. After all I have been here only for about 21 years. How can I absorb the Values accumulated for over a thousand years?

You guys beat up teenagers but worship Krishna. I am not sure but I have heard he used to run around with chicks. But he eventually got married to all of them. So that’s ok I guess. My suggestion is that there should be a Krishnasena to protect and promote Krishna culture in India. It should be ok with the other Senas as we are just following the traditions!! May not be Ramayana ones but definitely Mahabharatham… Partying, gambling, running around with chicks should all come in that..

I am really happy you are totally against the modern outfits!! It demeans our culture. You have a problem with girls showing cleavage but no problem with the heritage sites having naked statues!! You have issues with kissing, hugging and all but have never bothered about the Kamasutra.. You should seriously consider editing the ancient text to make it adapted to the ‘new age’ heritage of our country.. You can take tips from the Great Castration of 1857 in which many manly figures in Vatican were ‘unmanned’ by Pope Pius!!(Ref: Angels and Demons) Or the destruction of the Buddha statues in Afghanistan..

What is so Un-Indian about celebrating your love?? After all it’s the work of Kamadevan right?? Why not go and hunt him down? Can the humble humans be blamed because of somebody else’s doing??

I really can’t understand why people are doing this. And if they are so concerned about the situation why not do it on the other 364 days also? Is it that you think you are showing patriotism by doing anti social acts? If you are patriotic join the army and fight for the country and don’t fight in the country..

I feel the real patriotism is shown in Mumbai by going for MNIK in spite of all the troubles promised by the old man. Things went on smoothly also. What can a handful of lunatics possibly do when masses come out? They can sit back and accept the defeat. Or they can make press statements telling they didn’t actually mean to stop the screening or they were misinterpreted or anything to save their faces. I really hope the josh continues throughout the country. At least in Mangalore I hope they’ll release it.

Apparently the Valentines Day is pretty much commercialized these days. Actually it was the commercialization which bought the Valentines Day, Father’s day, Mother’s day, Brother’s Day, Sister’s day and all other ‘Days’ into the picture. 10 years ago as far as I know there was no Valentine’s Day. Neither was there any other so called days. It seems V-day celebrations are not affected by the recession either. Business is blooming!! Not only the cards, flowers or gifts but also the hotels giving special dinners, jewelers making special items, even flights offering romantic seats and so many others taking a piece from the pie.. The best one I heard is the lunar embassy. With $20 you can buy property in Moon in the name of your dear ones. But I don’t think people should wait for any day to show your affection.

And as on every other Valentines Day this year also I am gonna spent it with myself!!!

Anyone interested in giving me a company are most welcome!!!

To Sarah, With Love

2010-02-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

A prequel to The 5 dreams..

4-2-‘10

My dear Sarah,

How are you?? I really miss you.

Hope everything is going fine with you. Is that lady taking good care of you?? She looked like a good person. If you like her I’ll ask her to stay even after I come back. How is your class going? Don’t get lazy because I am not there. Do your homework in time. I will go through your progress report when I come back. When you are going out to play don’t go near the well. It’s very dangerous. I know I have told you about those a thousand but still I know a naughty girl like you will go there. Please don’t play any pranks on that lady staying with you. Again I forgot her name. (Don’t tell her I forgot her name)

Again I am repeating what I have told you about the uncle staying next door. Don’t go near that house. He has a gun and he will shoot if children go near his house. If he catches you then he won’t let you go. He will not give you anything to eat. So DON’T GO THERE!!

I know you’ll be missing me very much. Even I am missing you. I am almost sure that lady won’t be telling you good bedtime stories like I used to tell you. Or is she? If not ask her to read you out the stories from the storybooks you have. But you know all the stories in those books, right? Then tell her a story. You are good in story telling. Show her how good you are. Oh I really miss playing the story telling game with. I miss how you used to twist those stories.

Don’t get worried about me. They are taking good care of me here. They told I have some disease in my brain. It’s a rare disease. They have to see if I get better by taking the medicines alone otherwise they ay have to do a surgery. Don’t get tensed, there are some really nice good doctors here. Now I have a room of my own. But the only problem is that it’s locked from outside. There are so many unstable people in the hospital and they may cause harm to me. The hospital is actually for such people only. I am forced to be here because the only doctor who can treat me is working here otherwise I wouldn’t have stayed with these mad people. Sometimes I feel like I am also getting crazy. It’s just the thought of you which is holding me together. I am feeling a bit dizzy now. They say it’s because of the medicines I am taking. I will get better soon and will be back with you as early as possible..

Do take good care,

With lots of love,

Your bro’….

(Sarah had died 3 years back in a road accident along with her parents but her brother survived.)

5 Dreams

2010-02-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

Just like anybody else I also dream.
Dreams that remained.
The 5 Dreams

1st Dream: Waiting for the train

I was in a waiting room of a railway station. I wanted to go out and take a stroll but the heavy downpour outside held me in. I was stuck with an ultra-boring book which wasn’t getting any interesting. I banged the book shut in anger and cursed myself for ending up in such a place.
A handsome young guy sitting next to me smiled and said to me, “The book gets exciting by the end”
Wow. This guy actually managed to finish reading it? Unbelievable.
“Well, what is it like towards the end?” I enquired.
“What good is a book if you know how its going to end? Its like life. Would you care to live if you know what lies in ahead? “
“I don’t know. I really haven’t been in such a situation.”
“Tell me. Are you superstitious? I mean do you believe in astrology and all?”
“Not exactly. Are you going to predict my future?”
“No man!” he laughed. “In fact I was a believer; not any more.”
“Why? Did something happen or didn’t it?”
He started telling me his story, and his was a lot more interesting than the one in the book.
“During my college days”, he started, “I lived life, with no fear of death. In fact a wanted to die because life had been very tough on me. Instead of facing the problems I opted for the crooked short cut of ending things quickly. Once or twice I did try to kill myself but in vain.
Then I met her. She was smart, talented and beautiful. She scared most of pursuers by telling them that according to her astrology she would have two husbands and the first one would die soon after marriage. Her astrologer’s prediction spread like wild fire and no one had the guts to propose her. And she wandered around the campus alone and depressed.
I felt we made for each other, I wanted to end my life and she wanted someone like me, so that she may fall in love and marry the guy of her dreams and live with him for many years. So we decided to secretly get married. We settled in a far off place where nobody would see us. Though we shared the same apartment we led separate lives, not concerned about each other except for the fact that both of us were waiting for my inevitable death. But human mind is far too complex for anyone to understand. And it happened that we began to fall in love with each other. You can remain in a person’s company forever if you love or hate but you can’t survive with indifference. As we got closer, and started to know each other and live as a couple we realized that the superstition was in fact the hand of fate to bring us together. Just like that book, my life had a boring beginning and I wanted to stop reading. But if I had stopped reading would I be here with an exciting and happy life?”
“That’s really amazing. Its like you have won against your own destiny.”
“No. You really can’t change your destiny. We like to think we have changed destiny when something you expect to happen doesn’t happen. But destiny is not always what we expect it to be. There is always someone above who is control, who has written everything even before you were born.”

It was time for the train. We picked up our bags and walked to platform which was wet and slippery, thanks to the rain. As the noisy train was coming to a halt I asked him which compartment is he in. I didn’t get a reply, I turned to ask again but I saw only his bag in the platform and on looking down at the railway track I saw….
I screamed and I woke up.

2nd Dream: The Train Journey

I was in a train, sitting by the window. It was raining outside and I could feel the tiny drops on my face and aroma the wet soil. As I closed my eyes to drift into a slumber, the train came to a halt. I could hear the hustle and bustle, hawkers, and passengers. After a while the train whistled and set into motion again leaving the station behind.
As the train gained speed, the chilling wind was becoming unbearable .Shivering from the cold, I got up and donned on a jacket. Then I saw her. She was a 5 year old angel with the prettiest face I’d seen so far. She walked up to sit on the vacant berth facing me. A smile radiated from that cherubic visage and I smiled back.
“What is your name?” I asked.
“Sarah”, she said.
“Why are you alone? Where are your parents?” I enquired.
She shrugged her shoulders and casually gestured that they were coming. She asked me about me myself I spoke to her. She seemed very excited as it was her first train journey. It was getting more icy and only then I realized that Sarah was wearing not wearing any thermal yet she remained unaffected by the freezing temperature.
“I like the cold wind” she told as though reading my thoughts.
“Do you have a blanket or something? You should not be sitting like this. You would get pneumonia.” I told thinking my past experience with the dreaded disease.
“I think mom has a blanket. I’ll go and get it.”, saying this she ran away.
After sometime a couple came. At the first glance itself i knew they were Sarah’s parents. But surprisingly Sarah was not with them and her mother had a blanket in her hand. I was observing them and their activities. They settled down comfortably and were talking to each other. They showed no signs of having a child.
“Excuse me,” I interrupted, “eh... Where is Sarah?”
What followed was a few minutes of shocking silence. Her parents stared at me in horror. In those eyes, I could see grief. I didn’t understand.
Her father asked me “How do you know Sarah?”
“She was here. I was talking to her till you guys came. Why? What happened?”
Her mother started crying. He called me aside and told
“Sarah, my baby died 3 months back. She got pneumonia on a similar train journey and……… ”

I woke up…

3rd Dream: The Hell

This place where I was sitting was like a corridor .On looking out I could see lush greenery. I could also feel a cool smoothening breeze on my face I relaxed as never before. Just then somebody called me from behind. I turned to see a handsome man walking towards me. He asked “My dear friend do know where you are?”
“No”, I replied.” Where is this place?”
“This is the hell.”
My astonishment knew no bounds. This ought to be a dream. All the frightening images about hell came to my mind.
“It’s not possible. If this is hell then you must be …..”
“Yes. I am the devil.”
My mind couldn’t process the facts it was registering. I looked at him again. Devil could never be such a good looking chap’ I told myself. As though reading my thoughts he said “You are not the first one to get confused about this. Men have always thought the hell be a place of infernal fire and sufferings”
“Is it not? Then how did the stories of such kind came in being? Never ending fire to punish the wrong doers and all??”
“Well I am sure those stories must have prevented some from doing the wrong. But it’s all about perspective. Deep down within yourself if you feel what you did was not the right, you end up suffering.
And if I am helping them to do something then why should I punish them? It’s not logical.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t make people do anything wrong. I just give them an option in their lives. Men always have a choice. Nobody can take away their free will. Not even the devil. I just present myself as an attractive choice. But very few realize that there are options and even lesser choose it.”
“Then what is hell?”
“Hell is my abode, where I treat men who chose me with all the beautiful things in the world. You know more men believe in the existence hell than in heaven because they think that’s where they are going to end up in.”

I woke up.

4th Dream: The Heaven

I was sitting in the same corridor. Hell. I waited patiently there not knowing what to expect.
An old man with a long beard appeared out of no where and stood in front of me. It reminded me of Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter. His face seems to be radiating energy. He looked like a wise man. He asked me, “Do you know where you are?”
“Is this not the hell?” I questioned.
“Well, no it’s the heaven.!”
“But the devil told me it was the hell! How can it be possible? Heaven and hell are the same place?”
“Yes. Heaven and hell are the same. Its just the matter of perception.”
“I don’t understand. Does that mean that there is no heaven and hell as such?”
“Not as such. It’s the soul of men which gives him the thoughts about heaven and hell. Soul is imperishable. Just as man discards old clothes and puts on new ones the soul discards old body and puts on new ones.
If the body has done bad deeds its soul suffers for eternity and hence it leads men to righteousness. Men need something to fear and something to hope for. The soul gave them hell and heaven.”
“I still don’t understand. Isn’t there a heaven and hell as we have believed?”
“No. It’s the soul which punishes you with eternal sufferings when you end up doing the wrong. You just have to listen to your soul for proper guidance in the world. Each soul is a part of the universe, thus it knows everything, it has answer to every question. Only that you have to ask the right question.”
“What is that question?”
“Very few know; because men usually don’t know what they want.”
“How to know that?”
“I have explained till here. Now you have to find out.”
“All right. Who are you by the way?”
“I am the God.”

I woke up.

5th Dream: Somewhere

I am standing in a place which I have never been to before and yet the place looks so familiar. Its like an old picture in my mind. I start walking. With every step I take I feel immense joy and happiness. All problems stop bothering and my mind is filled with peace. Rarely have I experienced something like this. I am walking through a beautiful garden now, I see someone playing under a tree...
It is Sarah.
I did not wake up….

(A prequel to 5 dreams - To Sarah with love)

Nostalgia: Part 2 The School

2010-01-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

The Best days of life are the shortest…

We always miss those good old days…

May be they are meant to be missed…

However long they are, we always wish for more…

“We always have best friends in each phase of life… Only lucky ones have the same friends throughout…”

The fact that I call up my school buddies whenever I am feeling a bit low tells me that school life is not gone.. It’ll never go.. Stays as the golden memories in life…

I miss my school life… Those were the best days of life...

Yes; I agree with the fact that college life is considered to be the best but school life was different… There are so many things you wouldn’t have done in school but still there is something which makes school life different from everything else..

College life is all about freedom while in school you are under a constant scrutiny by teachers.. Not even in my remotest dreams I have thought about bunking… Now only I realize how easy it was to bunk then… Just one attendance in the morning!!!

Then there was a Principal who called your parents to school every time you get into some trouble like not bringing a record book or failing in a class test.. If that were the situation in college parents had to settle somewhere here only!!!

Rarely only we were sent out from the classroom, which would be accompanied by sadness, anger and a number of other emotions.. In college if sent out from class there are only two emotions: worry about the attendance and relief!!!

PTA (Parent Teachers Association) meetings!! Another dreaded event which occurs usually once a year.. In special cases can occur twice also.. (Happened in 10^th and 12^th)

Other than the routine complaints from teachers (He is good but because of his company he is not doing well in studies.. And they are telling it to everyone… If everybody is good then how can we be in bad company???) But parents being parents never think of it… They always take the teachers very seriously!! As it always happen those very guys will remain your best friends!! And the ‘good’ guys whom your teachers want you to be friends with will never be a good friend.. Most of the time he turns out to be someone like Chathur in 3 Idiots…!! I really pity people who don’t believe in making good friends!! They don’t know what they are missing out in life!!!

Apparently PTA meetings are the only time when the ‘bad guys’ in the class show their nice side… You probably wonder if the ‘obedient’, ‘respectful’, ‘good’ guy standing next to his mom/dad is the same person who threatened to kick your butt because you didn’t give back his ‘girl friends’ pen..!!!

Well that’s another thing.. How much ever hard you try there are very few chances school time affairs make it to the real world.. Unlike college these ‘couples’ has to be very careful because if you were found together outside or suspiciously close inside the campus you are bound to get noticed by the teachers and would be told to your parents in the next PTA meeting or sometimes earlier also… It has happened when I was in 11^th a ‘couple’ was caught from a nearby juice shop by a staff.. Parents were called.. So much drama followed and eventually the boy’s parents took him to another school.. The reason was that roaming around in the uniform gave a bad name to the school… Here in Mangalore I am seeing 9^th standard and 10^th standard kids roaming around in couples…

I really hope things have changed back home..

(But the lucky ones do make it to the real world and end up in marriage… But there is only a handful of such people…)

It’s been three years since I have stepped from school… On a rainy evening I never think of the times I didn’t bunk.. Not once about the PTA or the principal... It would always be a group of friends who made my school life beautiful… Every time while going through those old photos, it’s all about the fun we had.. The time we went for a tour.. How we spent the last days of school days enjoying the maximum..

Indeed school life was the best time in my life!!!

Dedicated to all my buddies in school…. Without whom life wouldn't have been colourful…

an Easy Escape and HS!!!

2010-01-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

Once in every 2 or 3 months I go on an 11hr train journey to my home.. Consider the following situations you might encounter in a train journey.. When you are alone and hoping for a peaceful journey…

Situation #1

You are in a train. Its an overnight journey.. And your co-passenger really likes to talk!!(And it’s not a cute girl!! Mind it!! Not even a girl!!) But you are not at all interested in sharing his views on the Iraq invasion and the ‘latest tower’ in Dubai!! Apparently he thinks it’s a watch tower built by the Americans to watch over the Middle East!!! I’d rather listen to him telling about his grand uncle who had a killed 3 tigers, 1 elephant, 8 wild boars and countless rats when he open fired in the jungle!! Unfortunately he died of rabies because he told everyone that was a lion bite!!!( sorry!! That was the other guy..!) Well that’s also not very interesting as I usually kill tigers by cracking PJs…!!

Situation #2

Actually this guy is better than the next guy who insists on knowing everything from the place of your birth to the place you are planning to die!! After which he proceeds to enquire about your father, mother and every relative alive or dead… And the worst part is that he supposedly knows at least 3 of them also… Many a times I wish I could tell him “dude I am not sure about mine but yours is gonna be this train!!!”

Situation #3

Now imagine you are sitting next to a cute girl who is reading a book you haven’t even heard off… Still wanting to impress her you start off by telling how good the book is and how you liked his previous books also… Apparently it turns out to be the author’s first book!!

Situation #4

Three doctors working together in the same hospital going to the same place without their wives..!!! That is a literal torture!! Please don’t be under the impression that the talk is of the medical mysteries they solved.. Its plain bitching about the fellow doctors!! How under-trained they are and how superior they are… And they do try to show off how cool they are by taking out their over priced ‘smart’ phones and trying to do stuff with it which even a 5^th standard kid can do.. Then the essential comparison follows.. “My phone has a horn!!” “Mine has a head and a tail!!” Apparently what they actually know is just to make calls and text…! What else is a phone for??!!!

God save their patients!!!

Situations where you just want to vanish!!! Well there is an easy way!! Get yourself a descent phone with HEADPHONES or a music player with HEADPHONES!!!!

Plug it in and go to your happy place!!!

HS and HA

Has anybody heard of a syndrome called HS (House Syndrome)??? Which results from HA(House Addiction) If not I am planning to be the 1^st patient suffering from these rare syndromes!!!! As I am addicted to House MD I started to feel that I am suffering from serious illness which I can’t figure out because I am not House and I am not a post graduate in Medicine ( an UG in dentistry) and most importantly the small sensible part of me is telling there is nothing wrong with me.. I was told that this is just another side effect of the House addiction disease and will soon wear off as it gets over.. But seriously how can I relax when I feel something is not correct..

Not only that, I am now trying to find out things about people just by ‘observing’ them… Sincerely hope none of my cute ‘subjects’ would notice me observing them!!!! :D

(p.s those who are unaware of the series House MD please refer to the previous post or just Google it!!!)

New year New resolutions!!

2010-01-02T08:29:00.000-08:00

Belated New Year wishes!!!
Hope all have made Resolutions… Resolutions are meant to broken so mine is not to make resolutions!!! But that would actually require me to make resolutions!!! Not fair!!
So here goes… My resolutions for 2010!!!

Reso#1: Finish House MD as fast as possible
For those who are unaware of it, it’s a series about a doc Dr. Gregory House.. In simple words it’s about him finding out the diseases which no one else can figure out!! His sarcasm, character, unconventional diagnostic methods used and the rare diseases are the chief attractions plus his relationship with other characters which tends to change randomly.. Other than this it’s predictable as any typical bollywood movie!! First something happens to someone.. They reach Dr.House.. Nobody has a clue in the first 30 min then suddenly while doing something else or by doing something out of the way he finds out what it is!! Known to cause addiction and I am just reached season 2 out of 6 seasons… Haven’t seen any other movie after I started this.. So I just want to finish it!! So many works are pending…
For more information just Google him!! (Apparently I did!!.!)
Which leads me to my second resolution…
Reso#2: Reduce Googling
Google has answers to most of our questions… Except when the questions get a bit personal!! If the internet is a huge heap of data, Google is the torch not just a regular torch but a torch which shows where to look also!! I know the metaphor is useless because if you are reading this you should have used Google at least 10 times… Its having a monopoly in the Internet…. Apparently there is a condition called Discomfogooglomania in which a person feels frustration, anger , depression and uncontrolled rage when he is unable to Google.. He feel lack of confidence unless he googles what he is looking for..
(Don’t bother searching it.. Google has made sure it won’t come up in its search)
If any of you have these symptoms do consult a psychiatrist at the earliest to prevent further complications!!!
As the old saying goes ‘Prevention is better than cure’…. Reduce the use of Google..
I don’t have any alternatives to tap the potential of the internet but I’ll put it up here as soon as I find it in Google!!!
Reso#3 Watch good movies
This year I plan to watch a whole lot of good movies.. Movies which got critical acclaims, which has won Awards, which are in the top 250 movies in IMDB instead of the action/comedy movies I am currently obsessed with!! Suggestions are welcome!!
( not for the good movies I can get that in IMDB!!)
Reso#4: Study Online/ study with a laptop
Finally a resolution Am sure of keeping!!!( Don’t get me wrong; not the studying part.!)
For the past three years I had a consistent resolution to reduce my computer usage but it just kept on increasing… So this year I am going with the trend and keeping a resolution to actually increase my usage to ‘study’!!! Am sure most of the textbooks are available in Google books!!!! For free!!! ( Another example of the monopoly I was talking about.!!)
But when you have gigabytes of movies and music I am not very confident if I would use the few megabytes of class notes I am having..!!
Reso#5 Daily exercise
Daily exercise including jogging in the evening and gym visits regularly!!!
But mostly its gonna be hogging instead of jogging and running to the class will be the maximum exercise!!!

I can think of only these many now…. Do put up your resolutions here!!!! And any suggestions you might have about mine!! It’ll be given serious thoughts next year!!!

(Apparently am totally addicted to House MD so mostly wont be active for a week or even longer!!..!)

Proud to be a Mallu!!!

2009-12-27T07:53:00.000-08:00

This is one of the best mallu mails I have recieved!!!

Beating the employment 'trap; enjoy it…

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room.
One candidate is our Kutty.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming.
Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people left the room.

Kutty says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA, but I have
nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try !'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more
than 100 people may leave.

2000 people left the room.

Kutty says to himself

'I never managed anybody by myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me ?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people left the room.

Kutty says to himself,
'I left school at 15, but what have I got to lose ?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat
to leave.

498 people left the room.

Kutty says to himself,
'I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose ?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate; Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to hear you two have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kutty turns to the other candidate and asked
'Naattil Eviddeya?'

The other candidate answers…'Thrissur'

RDMC at work!!!

2009-12-19T07:59:00.000-08:00

For the past one week my campus is in a ghost fever!! Apparently a ghost has been spotted in the campus by the night guards..! This is how it happened…

Initially it was ‘something unusual’ and they complained but as the story progressed it became a lady (obviously white saree long hair and all the usual stuff).. Then later a fat old man with a hood was also seen with her.. To make things more terrifying the guard heard footsteps but her legs were absent.. Scary isn’t it??

But one thing is that they were ‘seen’ ‘walking’ towards the girls’ hostel..!!! This was going on for days, the problem started when a sincere security tried to stop him/her/both because unless you are a student you need a pass to go to hostel!!!..

His hand got paralyzed and fell down unconscious!!! She/He/Both wont take no for answer especially when there is no question asked!!!

Then they put up this flood light.. Nothing was reported after that!! May be she/he/both couldn’t manage the publicity she/he/ both was getting as people got excited at the paranormal activity supposed to be going on in the otherwise dead campus!! Or may be ghosts suffer from photophobia!!!…

From a single lady it went to a lady and a fat person with a hood and a walking stick..

Then this place where it is the college now was used for dumping murdered people!!

There is a construction work in the campus which is not completed due to unknown reasons ( now we know the reason!! GHOST!!!)

Two cleaning ladies had died in the nearby woods some years back! (To this day nobody knows how!!)

This is the second time something if this sort happening in the last 6 years!!

Based on all these bits of information rumours have been postulated by the RDMC( Rumour Development and Maintenance Committee) on the Ghosts in Campus!!!

Hypo # 1: The girl had an undying desire to become a doctor!!! But her parents opposed.. She walked out of her home… Poor girl didn’t know how bad the world was… Next day her body was found at the exact spot where the ghost is spotted now…!!Her legs were cut at the ankles when they found the body.. It was said that she haunted all her murderers and they died by bleeding from a wound on their ankles!!! Since the place became a medical college how can she go anywhere else?? !!! (The fat man is unaccounted in this hypo!!.!)

Hypo #2: This is a simple one!! Girl wanted to be a doctor.. Parents opposed!! She committed suicide.. Father went into depression.. He also committed suicide!! Now she has come to study and her father following her!! (but why this college???!!)

Hypo #3: Girl loves a guy.. But he was cheating on her and was after another girl.. The 2^nd girl was studying here and staying in the hostel!!! 1st girl found about this and killed herself!! But actually the 2^nd girl was cheating the cheater!! Apparently when the cheater came to know that he was being cheated he became mad and was admitted in a mental hospital… He wished the 1^st girl would come back… Due to the pull of his deep psycho-emotions her soul came back and she haunted the girl who cheated on the guy who cheated on her as her true love didn’t allow her to haunt the cheater!!

And the fat guy was the cheater’s cellmate who died.. Being good friends he followed the girl to protect her from emotionless stone hearted guards!!!(phew!! but the legs??)

Hypo #4: The cadavers in the anatomy lab are bored!! Is it a crime if they sneak out once in a while???!!

Hypo#5: The girls who had gone to the pub forgot to take invisibility cloak!!! Left it at the pub…!!( but they could have flown in with the flying car!!)

RDMC is working on the loopholes and will come out with a better version soon!!! So keep reading!! :)

On a Birthday anniversary..!!

2009-11-22T13:28:00.000-08:00

Apparently November has the maximum number of birthdays according to my birthday calendar (including mine.! Belated wishes and gifts will b accepted!!)
So be the birth of the blog!!
According to the wishes people gave this is what they expect you to do
• You are supposed to have a blast
• You are not supposed to do anything ‘wild’
• Should be fun-filled
• Should thank god for finishing one more year
• You are supposed to give a party/ treat
The last is the worst!! Can’t imagine myself spending!! (Thou Am not at all averse in getting treats..!)

Now about my birthday
I didn’t have a blast neither was the day fun filled. But I did give treats to some (many asked) of my friends who succeeded in cornering me. Things went wild in class when my friends started singing happy bday to a classmate and myself.!(Needless to say she was also born on the same day). It was embarrassing as we were the centre of attraction because the only other time I become the centre of attraction in the class is when a teacher asks me questions and I stand with a blank face and stupid smile:).!! And because its ma bday I was asked by my friends to stop pulling their legs for one day which was tedious as I had to stop talking only..! Besides my 100 free sms got over by evening which was devastating. Normally if it gets over (rarely happens) I can manage with miss calls. But since it is my bday I should be thanking people who take time to wish me on getting older..!! Birthdays are expensive!!

It can get even worst if you are in a hostel, where there is a tradition of birthday bumps. It feels really good to kick someone in their butts but getting kicked don’t feel so good and if your friends are generous like mine you’ll probably see the heavens and not see the loo for 2 days!! (plain exaggeration!)

When you are in primary school it was day for chocolates, gifts and most of all wearing colour dress to school..
Then in high school and higher secondary it was just another way to show off in front of the girls. You can offer them chocolates and go for a hand shake without the fear of rejection..!! ( Its not good manners not to wish a birthday boy.!)
But coming to colleges why people are not growing up? At least in the matter of growing old they should grow up!
People always want to stay young forever but still they celebrate getting older.!!

In the end its a personal decision on how to spend the anniversary of the birthday (technically you can have only one birthday; that’s the day you were born and you celebrate its anniversary)..
If someone decides to give a big treat on his/her birthday its obviously their choice..
I should feel good for them!!
( As long as am invited!! If not it is just a waste of money!!!)

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.It's the life in your years.”
-Abraham Lincoln