Diary of my Nerd neighbor: Long hours, Coffee and the D-man!!

Final year till now has been really hectic (well not that hectic but people expect it to be hectic, so Am just telling it to be hectic!!). Daily morning classes are there and I am always the first to reach class. I enjoy these classes very much. The crisp fresh morning helps you learn really well.

But Rohan always comes late and nicely sleep in the class. I don’t why the staffs haven’t caught him till now. First of all I don’t how he came to final year. I was sitting near him in the exams and I don’t think there was even one answer he wrote on his own. (The Exams) Anyways the class starts at 8 am and goes till 11 on most of the days. 3 lectures a day. The best part about being in final year is that the teachers who come to take class explain everything with the great detail with the clinical aspect. They are so much concerned about us understanding the topic they go to any extend to make us learn. I don’t understand how Rohan can sleep in such classes. He really doesn’t know what he is missing out.

Among his irritating habits the latest is his coffee drinking. After every class he runs out and after 5 minutes comes back with a cup of coffee and fills the A/C lecture hall with its aroma... It’s truly disgusting. I don’t like that smell of coffee..

And worst of all he is in my posting batch also. This means we are in the same batch for clinical postings throughout the year.. Things can’t be any worst. Only two postings have been over till but I feel like its been more than a year.. Its true that time goes really slow when you are with whom you really want to avoid!! But then again I cant do anything about it so I always pretend he is invisible and cant hear him.. Especially when he is cracking his really stupid PJs..

But once I was happy when he told a joke. Not that the joke was good; they are always bad jokes.. But right after he told it a professor saw him talking and caught him for that. He was made to repeat the work he was doing and was asked to show him only all his work from that day on. This professor is somewhat a perfectionist and Rohan is the last person to make something perfect. That was one of my happiest day in that department. Now he is going to lag in his work. But surprisingly his work starts improving. The worst part is now he just goes to that professor and tells him bluntly that he didn’t understand if something is not clear.. Totally rude!!

But the best part was on the last day or I thought so.. There is something called an appliance where you have to make an initial skeleton kind of thing with steel wire and then acrylize it. So we have to sign for the wire bending and then for the final appliance. He didn’t know it and I was least bothered to tell him also. He was showing one of these appliances to this sir and he asked if he had taken sign for the wire bending. Rohan obviously had no idea about this and said no and even went on to say that he doesn’t think others also know. Sir got angry and asked everyone. Apparently Rohan was the only one who didn’t know about this. Instead of getting angry as I hoped sir got amused and called him the D-man!! And asked what does D stand for. He promptly replied donkey.

“That you already are. Tell me or else Am not gonna leave you!”

“Dumb??”

“Yes! You are the Dumb-man!!”

Never before I was so happy.. Sir asked him to get his record book and I was sure sir will be canceling most of his works which means he has to do them again.. I expected him to be sad and depressed. But it seems sir remembered him showing the wire bending and so he cancelled only one sign.. Just one work!!!

I thought life was good again.. God knows how I’ll manage rest of the year with him!!!

(As I have mentioned before the Nerd neighbor is a work of fiction. But most of the other stuff is true. Sleeping in the class, frequent coffees to keep myself awake.. Getting caught for laughing and talking.. I have done blunders before also (like most of my vivas and answer sheets!!) but getting a name doing one is pretty much new to me!! Hope this is the last time am getting one! And now the staff expects us to read textbooks and write assignments. It gets hectic when we pile up everything for the last moment which I always do. Hope the year goes fine…)

Other entries in the diary are The Church Bell acanthoma and The Exams

In which I am Patriotic!!!

My cousin settled in US asked me what I thought of the whole mosque and ground zero issue. I promptly replied its nothing but the usual American stupidity with a spoonful of paranoia of the terrorism thing! Right at that moment I felt really proud to be an Indian! After living in this country for almost 22 years I have never seen anyone actually bothered about such things in India…
No problem is our problem unless it directly affects us. Such as the broken water pipe, fallen tree on the road, fused street lights etc.. In these situations a true Indian calls up the concerned officials and abuse them, go to his neighbor and together they sit and abuse the bureaucracy of the country or in the worst case scenario he goes and gathers some people and try to do something (the last one has least chance of happening)
Of course we have so many other things not to be proud of. Such as
• Population growth
• Having maintained corruption at a steady rate
• Reservations and quotas still a mess
• CWG
• The Leftists (who oppose almost everything)
• The Congress (who thinks its still dynasty rule)
• Almost all other political parties ( who think nothing of progress)
There are more but these are ones on top of my head.. In spite of these matters I still felt proud today morning about being an Indian. Whatever communal problems occur here in our country Indians as in the people of India will not let it come into their lives. There is a minority of extremists in all the religions who wants to make problems or issues. It’s sad that in this age of liberation some still wants to go to the extreme. Osama has succeeded in terrorizing the people of America but I feel he has a long way to go before Indians actually be bothered about terrorism unless a bomb goes off in his own backyard...

The following is a letter from Dr.A.P.J Abdul Kalam (authenticity can’t be confirmed but its very inspiring)


“Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit.. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is.. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.
..
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say.. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - 'YOURS'. Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are.. You pay $5 (approx. Rs.. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai.. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs..650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.
'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand ..
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan ..
Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.
When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too….. I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.

Stranger in the bar

"They say a man's life is like a notebook. It’s filled with the big round letters of childhood with so many blanks. Slowly the blanks get filled and words are formed. Beautiful words of innocence which grows to the rapid scribbling of adulthood." – A guy with very long hair and beard

The smell of the coffee is still lingering on my fingers. The coffee I had with the famous inspirational guru in his calligraphy institute half an hour ago who said the above words... According to him I am in my scribbling phase of life and I should start enjoying the beauty of the small things around me... For starters he strongly suggested I stop my drinking habits and start a new life altogether.
Yet here I am admiring the beauty of a glass of 60ml vodka in front of me. I smiled.
“If you ordered the drink just to admire the beauty I’ll go ahead and do the honors of finishing it!” said the bald old guy sitting next to me. I never noticed him coming. I finished the drink and told in a mock sorry voice trying not to offend him that I was lost in thoughts.
“You don’t seem like someone who gets lost in thoughts.” He said.
Then we had quite a few drinks and he got into the talkative phase. He kept on saying funny things about himself and the people whom he has met in his journeys. Then suddenly he stopped and said “I was being rude talking about myself all this time. Now let’s talk about you. What you do for a living? And why were you lost in thoughts?”
I didn’t feel like hiding anything from this good hearted fellow. I told him about my problems. About the meetings I had with various gurus and other similar people who claimed to have answers but I never got one.
He was very interested when I told about the latest person whom I met a few hours ago. He started abusing them royally. Almost everyone in the place looked at us. I was taken aback by his sudden outburst but I joined him! It was so relieving to curse every one of them who took my time and money yet gave nothing in return. I was having a really good time with this stranger.
Finally he stood up, kept his arm on my shoulder and said “I had a good time with you so allow me to pay your bill and we’ll part” He was very insistent and I had to agree.
“But you haven’t told me your name.”
“Oh you know me. We have met earlier this evening. It’s just that I don’t put my hair and beard outside the institute!!!”

A Dream Fulfilled!!!

If I ever had a list of what all should I do before going up, watching a live show of Motherjane would be in the top 5!!! If any of you don't know about motherjane yet, please visit the link!! It is a carnatic rock band started in 1996 in Kochi.. It has won so many awards in India and abroad.... Their rock is unlike any other rock has a classic touch.. The music has peculiar flow which you can recognise anywhere you hear it!!

Now coming to the fulfilment of my dream. When I was walking around Kottayam my home town, suddenly I saw a Motherjane poster!! It seems they are coming to Kottayam and when I checked its only for a private club... And there appeared no way in which I could go to it.. But after trying really hard I got into some private arrangements which are kept confidential on request!!! Still there was an uncertainty till the moment that phone call came, asking me to come to the entrance!!! It was happening at last!!
Then the essential wait... I sitting in front of a coffee counter alone ( Apparently the private club members are all too private!!) and Baiju who is the lead guitarist walked out of the stage and came right up there!! I shook hands with him and he was so down to earth!!!! It really amazed me!
Then there was Deepu walking around but somehow I couldn't talk to him!! After that I went to main stage and I was again amazed to see Abhijith the band's manager with Suraj standing in a corner talking casually to some other guys... I could just go upto them and talk.. They were totally cool!!


Again after some more wait the show actually started!!! They started off with Disillusion then Mindstreet and after that Blood in the Apple.. By that time I was getting frequent calls from home asking me to come back.. Finally when I decided to go back home, Abijith told the next one is 'Chasing the sun' which is one of my favourites!! So I stayed back!! But then again the song after that was Tribes of Babel, it was the one I always wanted to hear!!They composed it for the Amnesty International!!! So I stood for that also!! And then my phone vibrated for the 3rd time, I knew it was either 'home-way' or the highway!!!
Even though the crowd was a bit dull in the first song, gradually the energy of the band struck a cord with the crowd and many guys started singing along!! But I came out and headed home when the collective energy of crowd was at its peak!!!
The best moments in life always remain the shortest!!!

(This post is dedicated to the two people who helped to meake this dream come true!!)
Kudos to them!! And Motherjane, Keep rocking!!!!

The Lesser known Heroes!!

Anybody knows what happened to Messi, Kaka, Dunga or Maradona??? They were the stars before the FIFA world cup started!!
Well now we all know where Paul is... He is at the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany presumably guarded by the Spaniards!! And apparently threatened by the Argentinians!!
Actually I was wondering if he could predict other things as well.. Like for instance the cricket or my exam results!!

I think its rather unfair that all the spot light be focused on Paul alone.. I mean our dear old 'parrot tarot' thing was there since ages and who knows if given a chance they might also predict the results!!
These are some other psych animals I came across which could use some of the spotlight..

1) Harry the crocodile

Harry, an Australian crocodile predicts the winner by eating a chicken coming out of a box which is obviously marked with the flags of the countries playing and it seems Harry agrees with Paul about the final..
We'll have to wait and see if they are correct..

2) Frocky the hen

Frocky is the hen used by some famous Hollywood astrologists to help with the problems of celebrities.. The celebrity is to sit near the hen and tell her the problems. Frocky replies by laying eggs the next morning. Experienced egg-readers are then summoned and they read the inscriptions on the egg and happy celeb goes back home!! Frocky is apparently not a big football fan and hence was not available to predict the WC finals and she also said she is not into these publicity stunts to get attention.. Her clients do that all the time and she is tired of it!!

3) Mani the Parrot

That's one parrot who got the guts to stand up against Paul. May its because Mani won't go to water and Paul can't come out of water!! She is the modern day idol of the tarot parrots!! Anyway the parrot predicted Spain loosing the game... We'll know who was correct in a day..

4) Ray the stray dog

Ray is an extraordinary and rare species of dog.. Other than having psychic powers to predict the future by rhythmic tail wagging, they never age. In history the first reference to the Ray was noted in the Mayan civilization. Archeologists have found a drawing showing a dog predicting the end of the world in 2012!! Researchers are pretty sure that this particular dog is the Ray only!
Nostradamus was the next person who was fortunate enough to have a Ray...As we know he wrote an entire book on those predictions..
Later on there is no definite proof for the existence of Ray but people are pretty sure that Hitler had one which was later kidnapped by a highly trained Russian commando and then followed the obvious fall of Hitler!!
Reports suggest that the Portuguese water dog Bo in the White house is also a Ray dog and there has been rumors that Bo also thinks its gonna be Spain only this time..

And finally,
5)Nandini the cow

Nandini the famous wish granting cow in the mythology!! Her lesser known powers include the ability to predict cricket matches accurately!! Bookies who know about her keep quite and bet high and those who don't know her just looses the bet!! Stories say if you provide her with nutritious grass everyday for 121 days without a break she'll gift you with the inside info of IPL and the ways to control it!! Being an Indian she is not that into football!!!


Paul the octopus was again right about Germany winning the loser's final. But it got wrong for the UEFA finals and lets see if it gets it right this time!!
Apparently just two animals in the above list actually exist!!

Feel free to add your own list of psych animals!!! The best one will be replacing Paul for the next FIFA world cup!!!

Dairy of my Nerd Neigbour: The Exams!!

Phew!! Exams over finally!!

Now waiting for the practicals!! Theory papers were very difficult!

1st paper Medicine was so difficult I didn't get time to finish a 3 mark question and that Rohan sitting next to me was asking me like everything. How can I show him the answers (as if I want to)!!! It was a university exam and he was acting as if it was just another internal exam. He would sit straight only when the external examiner comes to us. I was seriously hoping him to sit in our hall so that fool won't turn and irritate me. He was asking so much the hall invigilator came and talked to him. I was expecting sir to change his place but sir just told him the answers!!! How absurd!!! And why is nobody telling me any answers???

Even the 2nd surgery exam was also tough! Thou I could write everything I just didn't have the satisfaction after coming out of the exam hall. Think its because I couldn't draw diagrams properly. Even today also Rohan was asking me but I just pretend that I did not hear him. Then there was a question I was not sure of and Rohan just asked it to invigilator!! Can you believe it?? Asking to the invigilator openly!! I was hoping for an angry ma'am, Very angry ma'am!! But she just told him the bloody answer!! And the saddest part is my answer was wrong and I corrected it also!!

The 3rd exam Oral Path was OK!! I could write everything except for a syndrome which I have heard of before but no clue as to what it was about.. I wanted to ask someone but what if somebody sees me?? What if they catch me and take some action against me?? When I was about to ask the person sitting back our sir came and warned against any malpractice.. It seems they caught someone using a blue tooth headphone!! I was so tensed I didn't even move till the exams got over!!

The last exam was Community Dentistry.. My seniors all used to I can write as much 'gas' in this paper! But the paper was difficult. One of the essay questions was out of syllabus!!
Shockingly Rohan was writing like anything!! Somebody told me he finished up the entire answer booklet which is about 50 pages! I could write only 42 pages.. I tried very hard to write so much but I just couldn't fill it up. That was the first time I saw someone actually filing up the entire booklet!!! I really can't think how its gonna be!!!


(As I have stated earlier The Nerd Neighbour is a fictitious character.. Nobody in my batch comes close to such behavior!! At least not very close!!!!
Fortunately people sitting around me were good enough to share the answers, in spite of the frequent visits from the 'kinda cool' external and not so cool internal examiner!! Several times we were warned but nothing more! The biggest surprise was the staff who came for invigilation.. Most of them are known to screw us!!Initially they asked us not to turn or talk, then not to shout the answers and finally they just joined the group and started telling the answers!! God bless them!!
And I did write the entire booklet for the last exam!! Its literally full of crap and if anyone reads through them they might jump out from the window!!! But on the other hand if they give just 1 mark per page appreciating my talent for filling up the paper with 'gas' I just might pass!!!
As my Nerd Neighbor, am also just waiting to finish of the practicals and go home as soon as possible!
Surgery practicals got over today and if they are putting marks on how much I made them laugh with my blunders I might just get to pass!!!
Dates not yet confirmed for the rest of the exams but am seriously bored of watching sitcoms and sleeping!! Mmm.. I wonder as to what I will be doing at home!! Other than eating I still be watching sitcoms and sleeping!!!)


You might also like Dairy of my Nerd Neighbor: The Church bell Acanthoma

Exams again!!

The yearly event to make sure you live for a month entirely on coffee and chocolates!

The yearly event to make sure you don't use pillows to sleep!

The yearly event to make sure you regret every time you bunked and went for a movie!

The yearly event where your imagination reaches new heights!!

The ultimate suspense thriller!! Exams!!

I have not been putting up any posts recently as my imagination and creativity was drained by cracking stupid PJs to the serious studious students (read girls!!)
As my university exam is supposed to be in June 3rd week, they have started preparing for the battle! These are some random thoughts about exams..

Apparently there are three attitudes seen among the exam going students.

1)"OH MY GOD!!! Hardly a month!!! What to do with that??"

2)"One month is there!! Have to plan a timetable and start from 'tomorrow'!"

3)"When is Iron Man 2 releasing??" ( Actually when is it getting released??)

The advent of exam season is marked by a sudden increase in attendance and frequent visits to library.
Or it is when I see a couple sitting separately and studying during free time!(Couples doing combined 'study' is a common sight actually!!)
During exam I always felt there is spurt of creativity in everyone. After sitting with the book for sometime you get up bored, go to the other room, start talking about something and the ideas coming are totally mind blowing!! The 'night outs' are yet another phenomenon seen during the season! Last time I did a night out I kept my laptop on thinking I'll watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S or House MD while taking breaks.. And it ended up watching books while taking a break from the laptop!!
The most depressing part in the season is that there is no one to talk to properly!! Either most of them are busy studying or all they want to talk to about is studies! Its really depressing!!
I really hope to concentrate and get through somehow!!

"Damn true: Just when we sit down to study, Everything else on earth gets so interesting!!
Even just staring at the wall!!" - Another forwarded sms..