Inner Peace

Exactly four years and 24 days after I joined for Bachelor of Dental Surgery my final year results came. And I passed. Am a doctor now. (Technically I have to finish I year internship also before they actually let me pull out someone’s tooth.)

I was totally convinced that it would not come that day but a close friend of mine had an opposing view. She had a gut feeling apparently that it would come on the 24^th of August. I had a rational reasons as to why it won’t come. The site was very fast in opening and was real smooth when I refreshed it again and again. Normally when they upload the results the site would be slow and stuck. The previous day it was so and I was almost sure the results would come. Again my friend had the opposing view. Even though I was convinced it would not come I still kept on refreshing the site and just like that without any slowing down it just appeared. Final year BDS results. The feeling I had that very moment is beyond words. It was something like a mix of tension, hope, fear and all.. Again words fail me. I entered my register number with shaky hands ( I don’t think my hands were shaking but just for the dramatic effect lets say they were shaking). I clicked ‘submit’. Thinking back now I should have probably waited a bit and cherished that moment. But in a matter of seconds my results came. I passed for all the seven papers. I felt happy and content. I’d like to think at that very moment I found my inner peace. ( yes I have watched kung fu panda at least 10 times!)

Though I always dreamed of that moment i didn’t know what to do. I did not feel like screaming even though I wanted to. I wanted to shout to my mother. But I just sat there looking at the result. I could tell my mother but she’ll be in the kitchen. (Ever since I came back she is always busy in the kitchen. Food seems to get over fast.) Finally I got up went to the stairs and I found mom looking at me from down the stairs expectantly and asking if anything has come. Mothers have a sixth sense for sensing these things. You talk to some random girl in your class for hours they don’t have a problem but the moment someone special calls they’ll all over you asking a thousand questions! Anyways I said yeah I passed. As every other she was not convinced and came all the way up to see the results for herself. Then she congratulated me. Another Kodak moment it was! Then I started messaging my friends. Called up the near and dear starting from my father who was my inspiration in fact. Then the people whom I would call as my friends. They had to put up with my entire psychotic and neurotic episodes during the study leave. And they should take me a bit more seriously. I called this friend who was convinced the results would come that day and told her she passed. She also was not convinced and thought I was joking; I then had to read out her marks just to convince her. She then screamed on the phone! The next day we were talking and she pointed out that such happy news shouldn’t be told in a grave voice, I should have screamed it onto the phone it seems.

Even to me its still a mystery as to why I did not jump and scream at that moment. I always wanted to. I always thought of doing so. May be I did find my inner peace.