Travelling light. .

I went to the Kochi Muziris Biennale yesterday and I did not take a camera with me.

What is the big deal you may ask. Photography is one of my passions and I bought my first camera around a year back. Being photo obsessed I really wanted to take the camera, but due to some inconvenience my camera was not with me and there was no chance I could get another one.  With deep regrets I still went.  The following are the thoughts which arose on travelling light, without the burden of a camera, without the urge to click photos of anything and everything.
 This is not about the Biennale as such; I don’t think I can write about it as it is literally beyond words. This is just a thought I had when I walking through exhibits without the weight of a camera hanging on my neck or mind.
The first stall itself was really captivating and I couldn’t come out of it without taking a photo at least in my phone. People who know my obsession know that I really hate photos taken on a phone. I don’t know why, I just hate it. In spite of that I still took one photo.

Then I was literally lost on the works that was displayed, till I reached the food stall. Not having a camera was in fact a releasing feeling.  I did not have to bother waiting for the crowd to move to take the photo. Don’t have to worry about the quality of the photos. I can just walk through the exhibits. The food stall was located behind the venue, right next to the backwaters. The sight was really good and almost all of those people coming there immediately took out their cameras and started clicking photos.  The first thought that came to my head also was that. The location is picture perfect. The backwaters, a small country bout in the vicinity and some other boats a bit out into the waters.

 As I sat down there and observed people, I saw that more of them came there and rather than seeing the scene they immediately turn their backs to the scene and front to the camera, but is it worth it? Sacrificing the the time to stand there and enjoy the scene we immediately look around to find the perfect spot to take a photo.  We might probably upload it in Facebook and get ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ but beyond that what? We’ll keep it in it our computers? I am not sure about others but I have to keep the photos in my system in an organized manner but most of the time it ends there.
 So once I was done with the first location i.e the Aspinwall HouseI moved on to the next location in the map; the Pepper House. There a very good café was arranged. I must have sat there for around 45 minutes and wrote random thoughts about whatever I have seen till then.
Memories need not be always captured with a camera. Memories are those which are etched in our minds. Cameras literally capture everything, just because we have a camera we tend to take photos of our breakfast to the dog we saw on the road. The so called ‘moments’ are sometimes spoiled by our obsession to record and keep it forever. The actual moments or memories are often lost among such hundreds of photos. Real memories are those which are recreated in words with the person whom you share the memory with. It need not be showed off to the world.
 Sitting at the café I could capture the images of the people sitting near me as words, it would look weird if I start taking their photos.
Do try it once in a while, go to some place nice without the heaviness of a camera and keep those moments in your memory.
(Those who can do visit the Kochi Muziris Biennale, it is something I haven’t seen till now, totally worth it!)

Over a Cup of Coffee

"I came here just because my mother forced me.” 
Sarah said as she sat down in front of Karthik. Not even a smile, he noticed. They were in a coffee shop going through the modern version of an arranged marriage. The guy and the girl meeting up in a coffee shop, much alike to a blind date but just that this one was set up by their parents and one of them was not really into it. 
“It is not like I am against arranged marriage or anything but I want to spend some time doing things which I like to do.” She continued.

“What are those things?” Karthik spoke for the first time.
“Travelling for instance…… Basically do things with my friends…… Watching movies……… I had a boy friend in my college so didn’t really hang out with my friends then, kinda making up for all the time I wasted. YES I had a boyfriend and I used to hang out with him all the time. Don’t give that surprised look. … I didn’t study in a medical college to spend all my time nerding off in front of the books……. We can enjoy the whole semester and cram the studies to the last one week. . ”
“Cappuccino, two,” said Karthik to the waiter, other than which he did not really say anything.
“My mother was very adamant on seeing you as her cousin’s somebody’s somebody had a high opinion of you.” Sarah continued talking as the cappuccino came.
Karthik let that compliment pass with a smile.
“You being a doctor would be used to a serious life style. I am not saying it is bad or anything but I like somebody who is a bit more relaxed and fun loving. You guys really do a good job saving people’s life and stuff like that but then again you are not really the risk takers in your personal life. I am sure you must be the kind who used to study on a daily basis”
“Not really.  I usually..” He had to stop as she continued with her monologue.
“.. We on the other hand don’t really have to break our backs studying like that because we don’t really face a life or death situation. If we can manage to…”

“Oh f***!!” Karthik nearly jumped out of his seat.
“What??” Sarah  was shocked to see the  f word coming out of the ‘good-boy’
“It is my ex – girlfriend!!”
“  What??? You ex girl friend??”
“No time to talk now, we have to move fast!” Saying this Karthik took Sarah’s hand and literally ran out through the other entrance of the coffee shop, almost knocking down another couple on the way.
He released her hand only when they were a safe distance away from his ex- girlfriend.
“Sorry about it. We recently broke up and it was not a good break up also” Karthik tried to explain as Sarah was trying to catch her breath.
“What you mean not a good break up??”
“Well I am not really sure if she knows it or not.”
“What the hell? You are such an ass!” 
“Well I try not to show off! In my defense she started to avoid me then I ignored her but she never really bothered”
“You doctors are so screwed up man!” She said with a laugh. That was her first laugh since she sat down in front of him 15 minutes ago.

After 4 months, their wedding reception..

“Hey your ex girl friend is here!” Sarah whispered in a worried tone while smiling at the 6 cameras aimed at them.
“Who? Diya? She is fine.”
“You made peace with her?”
“Well she was not really my girl friend, just a good friend.”
“What??? You lied to me??”
“You wanted an adventure, I gave you one! Oh yeah we have a tendency to make up stuff, got it from writing all those exams!”
“You ass!” She punched him in his ribs and laughed a lot louder than the first time she laughed with him. 

(Author's note: Coz we are fun too!!!)
Belated Christmas wishes everyone and hope all of you will have a really great new year up ahead!)

God's sense of humour!

Some of my close friends would know that I consider myself as linguistically challenged. At any given point of time I can learn/talk/understand no more than 2 languages.
Well yes as with most of the other stuff I put up  here this is also a mild exaggeration but it is very difficult for me to learn a new language so I accept it and stop trying to make a fool out of myself. More than any other language it is Hindi our official language which has a problem with me. I never could reason with the fact that inanimate objects have gender. Plus there are a lot more stuff in that language which has given me enough nightmares throughout the 6 years I studied it. (Yes! 6 years!!! Yet I cannot speak or understand Hindi properly! Now you all know why I don't like it!)  This particular trait of mine has made me the butt of many a jokes among my friend's group.
So this is just a background to the following incident which happened yesterday.
I was on my way to the railway station to go home with hardly any cash on me. As always I went to the nearby ATM, after entering the PIN the machine's touch screen was stuck on the language selection page. I touched English nothing happened. I touched Malayalam, again nothing happened, skipping the Hindi in the middle I came out and went to the only other ATM  in the locality. The other one was closed for repairs. I stood there at 1:30 pm not really knowing what to do to catch the train at 2:15 pm. Again I went back to first ATM hoping for a miracle to happen. When you are walking in the sun with two moderately large bags trust me you'll become a believer! Then man inside the ATM came out counting money. MIRACLE! I silently proclaimed while entering the small room. But again, the machine was stuck at the language selection. Was God playing a trick with me? Then I understood the grand joke! I touched the middle option - Hindi! It worked. Unbelievable! The ATM did not have a problem till the previous night. First time in my life I am seeing the ATM behaving like this. With familiarity I managed the first Hindi screen without reading but the second was tough. I had to try really hard to decipher those signs. I was sure the person waiting outside would think I was gonna steal money or something. But thankfully he didn't call the police.
Only when I was comfortably sitting in the train I realized the prank God played on me!
He sure does have a good sense of humour, even though many of his followers don't.
I am sure many of us have these kind of tiny incidents.
Do share them here.

Be a rebel. .

(Author's note: Violent theme ahead)

“Be a rebel” 
I told myself. Rebel would be the last word someone would associate with me. I was a good student, a good citizen.  Obedient. I gave my seat to old people. I never did something I would regret. As a child I was taught that being good counts. That is the only thing which counts. Like any other good child I kept it in my heart and went accordingly. Do good. Never disappoint others.
I looked up and saw the moon. It was full moon. That gave me the light to walk this far in the middle of the night. Somehow looking at the full moon calmed my nerves.
“Be a rebel" I told myself again.
Fight the inhibitions laid out on you by the society. Do what you want.
 I kept encouraging myself.
 My sister was better than me in all accounts. Even though she was 3 years younger to me I often looked up to her. She was a constant inspiration and motivation. Her messages would lighten me up during the bad days I had to endure. She was the epitome of goodness. The giver. Whatever she was doing, she always had time for others. To help others with kind words and deeds. She had a pleasant aura around her. She was an angel on earth. And now in heaven.

Brutally raped and killed.
The man who did it walked free. After a lot of courts, cases and what not, he was set free. Mental instability, as his advocate proved in the court. He was to be admitted in an asylum and not in a jail. But here he is, sleeping in the comfort of his room. That was a mistake he did.
Her throat was slit. When I saw her, she was lying on the ground with torn dress and her head at an unnatural angle with the body. The odour was unbearable; the dark nauseating odour of blood. It was all over the place. I had to walk on the blood to reach her; her blood. The same that flows through my veins. i screamed like never before. Not only then but many times after I saw her body. The image keeps coming back. I kept thinking what and all might have gone through her mind at those dreadful moments. How mistaken she was about the world and the people in it.

I am standing outside his room, the images of my sister running through my head.  Somehow her smiling pleasant face is not coming to my mind. It is always the unnaturally angled head. With the blood, the nauseating odour of blood.  My heart starts pumping the same blood in me, vigorously. I can feel my heart beat. Blood is rushing to my right hand, where I have a long knife.
I entered his room. I got a strong smell of alcohol mixed with cigarette smoke. The empty bottle on the table told me he is passed out. Perhaps the same alcohol might have led him to something like that to a fellow human being. His breathing was heavy. I looked at him.
How could he?
I asked this question to myself a thousand times but never got an answer. I am never gonna get that answer out of him. I don’t need an explanation. Explanations will not bring back my sister, neither does killing him. I know that but he shouldn't do it again. I am doing it for her.
She probably would have wanted me to forgive him and move on for an angel she is but I am not. I am mere human who gives in to his emotions. A brother, who wants to make sure that no brother would have to feel the same as I felt. A son, who wants to make sure no parent would have to go through what our parents went through.
I raised the knife, closed my eyes and slit his throat. He did not make a sound but his eyes were wide open when I opened mine. The dark nauseating smell of blood filled the place. The same odour.
The same blood runs through our veins beneath our skin, we choose to ignore that basic fact and act differently.
I came out of the room leaving him in his pool of blood, like how he left my sister.

At the Crossroads

John stood at the crossroad. The junction.

 He looked at the sign board. From the distance it looked so perfect but only when he got closer he realized the arrows are more like the wheel of fortune. Just one nail holding it to the post and it turns at even the smallest of the breeze.

He had walked out of his home half an hour ago. He was so sure of his journey and the path to be taken when he stepped out. He left his family and came out. He left his neighbour Sarah whom he had a crush. She was willing to come with him but he had to take this journey alone. He carried nothing but his father’s advices. He did not bother with the goodbyes. He was never good at them anyways. With an empty promise that he’ll come back soon he had walked out. He knew he was not going to return for a long time. He knew he had to cut down each of those strings that attach him to the home as he go further.

He stared at the sign post again. He decided to give the wheel a chance and turned it fast.

“Let fate decided which way I should go” he thought.

 He stood there looking at the rotating arrows. Then he changed his mind and started walking on a road. To the unknown future, while the arrows were still turning around that single nail.

Walking under the Umbrella

“Oh god, please take care of her. She is weak and badly hurt. I know I was the sole reason for what happened to her but lord you know how it happened. I loved her very much but I really couldn’t do anything else. I hope she understands it one day. I know it in my heart that she is gonna get someone better in life. Please don’t make her life even more miserable than what she is going through now. She does not deserve it. At times all I wanted to do is to just go back to her, give a big smile and tell her how much I missed her for the last two months. It hurts me to act indifferent to her. All I hope is someday we can just sit together and laugh about the whole thing.”

“Dear Lord why is this happening to me? I know no relation is perfect but instead of sitting down and talking why did he have to leave me like that? I loved him with all my heart and this is what happens to me. Please make him stop acting so indifferent to me. I know deep within me he did the right thing but I cannot accept it. He said everything will be ok and it will take time and all. But it has been two months and I still miss him. I miss the good times we had. Again the fact that we wont have anything like that any more is hurting me. I know it is too much to ask but god can you help get over this? This is the worst time of my life. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I want to get angry at him but I can’t. Let him have a good life Lord.”

They met outside the church. Both of them looked at the dark monsoon clouds covering the sky. They did not look at each other. The crisp Sunday morning sun was covered with clouds and everything suddenly seemed very gloomy.
“It looks like rain.” John said after an awkward silence.
“I don’t have an umbrella” Anna replied.
John looked at his long umbrella and sighed. Walking under the umbrella with Anna was always special.
It started pouring.
John kept looking at the umbrella and the rain tempted to offer Anna a walk to the bus stop. He really did miss such walks.
With a sudden movement he walked into the rain saying “Good bye Anna”. He waited a moment to open the umbrella and walked.
Tears formed in her eyes. They welled up refusing to fall down, partially obscuring the vision of John walking away in the rain.

“Awesome rain is it not?”
Karthik came and stood next to Anna.
“Not when you don’t have an umbrella”
“Come with me then. The car is there.”
He opened his umbrella and started to the car. Anna hesitated for a moment and went with him.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” The famous line said by Charlie Chaplin kept repeating in John’s mind. He understood what Chaplin meant. He dropped his umbrella to let the rain mask his tears.

Freedom from what?

Independence day. 

The day we change our profile pictures to our national flag. The day we put up and share patriotic messages.The day we should  remember how our forefather fought against the oppressive foreign rule and got us freedom! Freedom from what? 

JULY 2012

GUWAHATI

A girl  was molested and stripped by a mob of 20 or more young men. A TV reporter who filmed the incident allegedly instigated this to get a breaking news. The men who did this brutal deed looked into the camera with pride. They made sure the girl's face came in the camera. When you see that one would wonder if they actually spent 9 months inside the womb of a woman. 

What mistake did the girl do to be treated like this?  Is it crime to go to a pub? Is it a crime to wear what you  like to wear? The girl thought she had the freedom to do so. To do anything within the law. So from what did our forefathers get freedom from? Surely not from the girl-molesting-stripping perverts in the video above.

More than the video going viral in the  country, the girl had her name told to the media. I still don't understand why when something like this comes up the 'leaders' blame it on the victims. The majority, thankfully consist of people with good morals and fortunately not fools also. Rather than supporting a bunch of thugs they should support the rights of each citizen.

ASSAM

Ethnic violence which lead to the death of 72 people and a huge number of the population getting dispalced. The clash between the Bodos and the Muslims has been there for a long time but never before has it escalated to this extent. The elected leaders and police were unable to contain the violence. The state blames the Centre and vice versa. Nobody is really bothered about the people. They keep blaming each other till another issue comes into the picture. 

(Taken from hindustantimes.com)

The rally held in Mumbai to show support to the Muslims in Assam riots in itself became a riot. What are they trying to prove? Why didn't anyone oppose the violence as a whole? The root cause is simple. You see the other person based on his/her religion, caste, creed, culture or region. You don't see them as human beings. You don't see them as Indians.  As many have pointed out patriotism is not something you show only for sports and war. It is accepting every single citizen of the country as Indians and not putting a brand of religion or region on them and segregating them. The great leaders got us freedom from the British but they did not free us from the narrow minds we have.

Padil, 

Mangalore

A bunch of young people were having a birthday celebration and none of them would thought they would make it to the cover pages of the national dailies the next day. 

Moral Policing it seems. Does anywhere in the Indian culture they say to beat up girls? Slapping girls is considered morally right but celebrating birthday is not? What they did was not acceptable they told. Acceptable to whom? A bunch of goons? Or the commission who blamed the girls?

I need not go on about the moral policing and how frustrated the young generation is. I live in Mangalore and it has a united young population who think beyond the borders. The culture less brigade is trying to break that unity I think. Someone else also did the same if I remember correctly. The British left and we got freedom from the foreign oppressors but what about the Desi oppressors? 

All these 3 incidents in the month of July.  More has happened. A lot more would have gone unreported. Untold stories of sufferings in the free republic and democratic India.

As we celebrate the 66th Independence day our freedom is hailed. But from what?

Every country has its problems but how we react to it makes all the difference. We can be indifferent or we can speak against it. Saying it is correct according to our ancient culture should be left to live in ancient times. 

We have the highest young population in the world and anything they do is against culture? I hope people accept everyone as they as they are and not force ideologies on them. A few people cannot break a nation but the indifference of the majority can do that.

 

When I see all the 'patriotic', 'proud to be an Indian' status updates I am happy. The acts of a few haven't dampened the spirits of the many. 

Happy Independence day. As always I am proud to be an Indian.

(A post I put 2 years back 'In which I am patriotic')