Sarah was the first to smile at her. She smiled back. It was beautiful but a deep sorrow was evident on her face in spite of the smile. She was sitting in the seat diagonal to mine and Sarah was on my lap. Sarah, my 2 year old cousin continued showing some actions at her. Finally she came towards us. But shattering my expectations she didnt stop or talk but lightly stroked on Sarah's cheek, looked at me and walked to the end of the compartment.
I suddenly got the urge to follow her so i gave Sarah back to her mother and went after her. There she was waiting for me.
"Are you a Scorpio?"
"What??" I was taken aback by this strange question.
"Your sun sign. Is it Scorpio?"
"Yes. How did you guess?"
"It was not a guess. A Scorpio always know when it meets another. I am amazed you didn't know it. You never had any such experience?"
"You meet someone for the first time and then within no time you realise the bond and become really close.. It has happened to me quite a few times."
"I don't think it has happened to me."
"Well now it happened.."
And then she laughed. The ice was broken.
Then she started to ask about me. Unlike every other train journey with every other stranger I didn't hold back or make up anything. I told her everything.How I first fell in love and the horrible breakup which happened recenly. I told her honestly how depressed I was..How often I have thought of suicide.. Never before I have told anyone that I was seeing a therapist. May be
she was right about Scorpio thing. I was not a big believer in sun signs and all.
When I started asking her about her life, she said "Its a long story. I will tell you after your dinner. Think your family is waiting for you."
Indeed they were waiting for me. I didn't tell anything to them. I didn't want them to start yelling at me!!
I quickly had something and went back to her. She was standing at the same place.
"You are not having dinner??"
"No. I had food before getting on the train."
"Alright. So tell me about you.."
"I'll tell you in concise.
My first love happened when I was in school, 11th or 12th.. That was one the best times in my life. We made so many plans for the future believing true love is meant to last long.. Sadly it lasted only for about 6 months. Parental problems!! After school we have talked once or twice on phone.. Then I met this wonderful guy in college. We became friends very fast. I told him everything about my first love.. He was very understanding. He talked to my parents and they kind of agreed and he talked to his parents, they also were ok.. For the next three years in college we spent every moment thinking and caring about each other.. Small fights came in between us but only to make our love stronger... But things always dont't work the way you want it to.. Everything came to a crashing end when he asked me to run away with him.. His parents had never allowed him.. I quarreled with him, stopped talking to him but in the end I gave in... We got into a train and I dreamed of a happy life.. Iwoke up when the train reached its destination but he was not there with me. I didnt know what happened. It was like waking up into a nightmare. For one year I lived in that place, then came back to make the journey once again. And here I am!! It was on this train one year ago we made the journey."
"You didn't inquire or ask anyone?? His friends or relatives??"
"No. I let it rest. Uncertainty is the essence of life.. one year ago when I got on to the train I was certain, but it became uncertain overnight.. I was uncertain what to do when I got into this train."
I was totally speechless.. She was looking out into the darkness, to the distant lights.. Suddenly she turned and said " I cant take it anymore. Goodbye, it was nice talking to you. I know how to make everything certain.. "
I tried holding her back but she was fast and in the commotion I lost my balance and fell out. My head hit on a rock and I passed out. After sometime I regained conscious, I saw her sitting nearby apparently unhurt..
"What happened? You seems OK.."
"I am OK because I didn't fall down. You fell down.."
I didn't understand.. I tried to think hard but my head was paining like anything.. I remember she trying to jump and I was trying to save her.
She came near me and said " You still didn't understand.. Did you?? I am you.. The story I told was what happened to you only.
You believed suicide was not the right way so your mind made me for you to accidentally jump out of a moving train.."
Everything became dark again..
(His body was found the next morning)