Saturday, April 3, 2010

Stranger on Train

Sarah was the first to smile at her. She smiled back. It was beautiful but a deep sorrow was evident on her face in spite of the smile. She was sitting in the seat diagonal to mine and Sarah was on my lap. Sarah, my 2 year old cousin continued showing some actions at her. Finally she came towards us. But shattering my expectations she didnt stop or talk but lightly stroked on Sarah's cheek, looked at me and walked to the end of the compartment.

I suddenly got the urge to follow her so i gave Sarah back to her mother and went after her. There she was waiting for me.
"Are you a Scorpio?"
"What??" I was taken aback by this strange question.
"Your sun sign. Is it Scorpio?"
"Yes. How did you guess?"
"It was not a guess. A Scorpio always know when it meets another. I am amazed you didn't know it. You never had any such experience?"
"Like what??"
"You meet someone for the first time and then within no time you realise the bond and become really close.. It has happened to me quite a few times."
"I don't think it has happened to me."
"Well now it happened.."
And then she laughed. The ice was broken.
Then she started to ask about me. Unlike every other train journey with every other stranger I didn't hold back or make up anything. I told her everything.How I first fell in love and the horrible breakup which happened recenly. I told her honestly how depressed I was..How often I have thought of suicide.. Never before I have told anyone that I was seeing a therapist. May be
she was right about Scorpio thing. I was not a big believer in sun signs and all.
When I started asking her about her life, she said "Its a long story. I will tell you after your dinner. Think your family is waiting for you."
Indeed they were waiting for me. I didn't tell anything to them. I didn't want them to start yelling at me!!
I quickly had something and went back to her. She was standing at the same place.
"You are not having dinner??"
"No. I had food before getting on the train."
"Alright. So tell me about you.."
"I'll tell you in concise.
My first love happened when I was in school, 11th or 12th.. That was one the best times in my life. We made so many plans for the future believing true love is meant to last long.. Sadly it lasted only for about 6 months. Parental problems!! After school we have talked once or twice on phone.. Then I met this wonderful guy in college. We became friends very fast. I told him everything about my first love.. He was very understanding. He talked to my parents and they kind of agreed and he talked to his parents, they also were ok.. For the next three years in college we spent every moment thinking and caring about each other.. Small fights came in between us but only to make our love stronger... But things always dont't work the way you want it to.. Everything came to a crashing end when he asked me to run away with him.. His parents had never allowed him.. I quarreled with him, stopped talking to him but in the end I gave in... We got into a train and I dreamed of a happy life.. Iwoke up when the train reached its destination but he was not there with me. I didnt know what happened. It was like waking up into a nightmare. For one year I lived in that place, then came back to make the journey once again. And here I am!! It was on this train one year ago we made the journey."
"You didn't inquire or ask anyone?? His friends or relatives??"
"No. I let it rest. Uncertainty is the essence of life.. one year ago when I got on to the train I was certain, but it became uncertain overnight.. I was uncertain what to do when I got into this train."
I was totally speechless.. She was looking out into the darkness, to the distant lights.. Suddenly she turned and said " I cant take it anymore. Goodbye, it was nice talking to you. I know how to make everything certain.. "
I tried holding her back but she was fast and in the commotion I lost my balance and fell out. My head hit on a rock and I passed out. After sometime I regained conscious, I saw her sitting nearby apparently unhurt..
"What happened? You seems OK.."
"I am OK because I didn't fall down. You fell down.."
I didn't understand.. I tried to think hard but my head was paining like anything.. I remember she trying to jump and I was trying to save her.
She came near me and said " You still didn't understand.. Did you?? I am you.. The story I told was what happened to you only.
You believed suicide was not the right way so your mind made me for you to accidentally jump out of a moving train.."

Everything became dark again..

(His body was found the next morning)


  1. oooh scary scary and fabulously written...
    The ending was a shocker...

  2. creepy...
    and who is this sarah character that seems to pop up in almost all your stories?

  3. Am nt sure. . ;-) its der in almost al of ma stories. .

  4. I thought both of the characters were girls but in the end you said His body.. Scary....I will never try to save anyone here after if they are trying to jump out of train

  5. Farila, wen u told only am realisin dat. . shuld hav given som indication b4 only dat d narrator s a guy. . Anyways Thanx 4 ur comments. . Keep readin. .

  6. Here for the first time...Your blog rocks!!! The suspense was well narrated.

  7. Welcome to my blog Tan!!!
    Thanx for your comment. . Helped me feel good. .
    Keep reading. . :-)

  8. Hi Rohan :)

    Loved the concept and this was a really good thriller... Just have that nagging feeling that i would have written this differently :)

    For starters: You did send out the clue of "suicide" initially, that was a good indication to the reader about the gravity of the situation of the narrator. But you could have further strengthened on this point.

    Also, when both the characters are talkig to each other, there is a distinct unfamiliarity of stories. We later come to know that both the characters are the same but there is NO common ground in stories (Though it was fantastic, especially the gal's) except being Scorpio. You could have made the story more Mysterious if the gal character threw amazing insights into the life of the narrator. Even giving him guidance- and even giving him the crappeist and the craziest solution to all his problems- JUST JUMP.

    Now the suspense would be chilling- here you have gained your right to defy the reader's expectations- and NOT jump...

    Stories are always about ifs and buts... and doing the unexpected or doing the expected for unexpected reasons :)

    Yours is a good one... Hope to see you write more- and with more intensity and thought :)

    Write on, Bro!


  9. Thanx a lot for the criticism!!! Grt pleasure to know you thought abt the story in depth!!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...